In and around Octovern -- later

[love_and_peace]

0. A message on Radio Plant
It's not heard, exactly, telepathy doesn't work with the ears. It sounds like Knives - one of them anyway, threaded with a weariness he can't hide like this, and echoed with the feminine reverberation and power of a sister plant. He doesn't have the power to do it himself, but whether she's just signal boosting or if he'd taken the step to merge with her the way he did so many others ... is unknown.

Every plant will hear it, if all goes well. Including the very one Vash had headed out to try to confront..

Vash the Stampede, one of you, has decided to go to Octovern and reignite the conflict with my younger self in spite of it being quiet these past weeks. I know there's at least three more of you out there; I would appreciate it [irony etches that 'voice' briefly]if you could collectively make sure this doesn't go the way it did in the past. If I have to come out there myself, I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

So let's make sure it doesn't go that far. I am certain that together, all of you can find a way to resolve this with no further pointless misery for our own kind.



1. Just outside Octovern
The sour-faced young Wolfwood who picked Vash up only a few hours into his hike to Octovern hadn't been in the mood to talk. He was heading for December, he said, and didn't want to hear anything from any fucking Vash about why he shouldn't go there. Vash had tried to explain to him that Melanie and the kids weren't there anymore – they'd been taken away by Brad to the ship days ago, but Wolfwood didn't want to hear it. He needed to see the place for himself, and Vash, on a similar mission, couldn't argue the point. So Wolfwood drove in silence, and Vash was able to close his eyes and get some real sleep – only occasionally interrupted by strange dreams, including one where his brother tried to warn him about heading for Octovern! Aren't dreams strange? – for the first time in what felt like weeks.

The cliffs around the city – and the remnants of the ship that had crashed there – made for an excellent vista point, so that's where Vash headed first. From the top of the cliffs he could see the whole city, and clear signs of a fight that had to have happened several days ago, perhaps longer. There's scorch marks on the cliff face, craters around the city, military vehicles mixed in with the refugee vans and trucks... but the city itself seems pretty peaceful. It looks like Knives was right -- the fighting is already over.


2. Main St and Market, downtown Octovern
Given the state of the rest of the planet, walking into Octovern is a delightful surprise. There's people here, more people in one place than anywhere else on Noman's right now. Refugees and locals, crew from the Earth ships and local military police, they're all mingled together in one big, bustling town. The streets are full of vendors, cars, people, all talking and shopping and arguing and laughing as though the terror of the last year never happened.

There's some excitement at the end of the block, though, raised voices and a lot of movement... and then, startling the crowd, sudden gunfire! Out of the crowd comes a single man, wearing a red coat and with spiked up black hair with a blond streak, running as fast as he can, and behind him? Behind him are a lot of people – bounty hunters, a couple local feds, people waving guns and autograph books, a whole mob of folks, all hot in pursuit, all yelling: “It's Vash the Stampede!

Help?


3. Out in the desert, heading back to July
He's escaped the mob, but given how many people are looking for him now, it seems best to take the long way back, and avoid any additional attention. His brother, this world's Knives, and this world's Vash, have both vanished. The war is over, the plants have been rescued, the Earth leaders are meeting with local government... and he's not needed at all. It's a relief – of course it is! – but he's spent so long dedicated to this fight that he's not really sure to do with himself now that it's over.

Comments

2.

[goldenglasses]

That message he hears in his mind is... concerning. Luckily he wasn't that Vash.

...he doesn't think he's that Vash?

Pretty sure. Yeah, it couldn't be him. Probably. Hopefully...

He's been trying to keep a low profile while wandering around the big city. Wearing a cloak to hide his red coat with a hood that can hide his hair. He could leave the coat at home, but that doesn't feel right so he keeps it hidden.

Hearing someone scream his name has Vash jumping in terror. "What?! No! I'm not--" Huh, no one seems to be looking at him? It takes him a little while to figure out what is happening and it's still so strange to see another him with so much more black hair them himself running around. His own hair is still mostly blonde with just a large strip towards the back of his neck.

It seems this other him might need help. Vash does the only thing he can think of. Ripping away his clock and letting out a wild bray of laughter. "Him? Don't make me laugh! I'm the real Vash the Stampede! Notice my blonde hair! Clearly I'm the real one! EEP!" Vash yelps as someone decides to take a shot at him before he takes off running. Hopefully taking enough of the crowd's attention to help out the other him.

[love_and_peace]

He was smart to cover up his coat! This Vash would have been smart to do the same, but seeing that the fighting was over, he foolishly thought he'd be fine.

Really, the next generation of determination red coats should be reversible, so they can enjoy the benefits of bulletproofing while staying somewhat incognito? Getting chased through town like this is exhausting!

Vash doesn't see the other Vash -- he's too busy running for his life! -- but enough of his pursuers do. Hey, wait, there's two of 'em! he hears one exceptionally loud person shout, and it's only then that he risks a glance behind. And how about that! There is another him here! Slightly younger, if the hair is an accurate measure, and selflessly putting himself in harm's way to draw off some of the crowd!

Thanks will have to come later. For now, Vash veers off down a side street, hoping to split the crowd even further. He's never been as strong (or as comfortable) using plantspeak as some of his other alternates, but even he can hear the murmurs of their sister plants as a steady buzz low in the back of his mind -- there's so many of them here! Using that baseline as a place to start, Vash thinks west as loudly and clearly as he can -- lose your tail then meet me west of here, Vash? And good luck!

[goldenglasses]

West. Comes the simple confirmation. This other Vash doesn't seem any better (or comfortable) at plantspeak than his double. Enough to get the message that he heard and understood, but no more chatter past that.

It takes close to an hour and there is still shouting in the more eastern parts of the city, but eventually a younger Vash eventually comes puffing along. "Oh man, they're rather persistent still." He did not miss this in the slightest. Smoothing out his coat as he tries to pay attention to that part of his mind that lets him know when another Plant is nearby. He just needs to try to focus on the one that sort of feels oddly like himself instead of his sister. "Come out, come out, wherever you are?"

[love_and_peace]

If they'd spent their childhoods talking with the plants that survived the Fall like some Vashes did, instead of tagging around after their brother, they might have gotten better at it! Either way, it'll be something to practice, thinks this Vash, as he crouches behind one of the larger boulders off the side of the road, waiting until the shouting in the distance dies back. How useful, to be able to talk to each other without radios, and to know when one of their ever-growing family is nearby!

Finally the coast is clear, except for the other version of himself. The other Vash feels like a bright spot in Vash's mind, a little spark in the dark bobbing ever closer. Vash thinks a greeting to that spark before emerging, just so the inevitable gravel crunching underfoot as he approaches won't sounds like an ambush. "Thanks for your help!"

It's thanks to this other Vash that he got away unscathed -- there's no fresh holes in his coat, bullet or otherwise, and he didn't have to use any of his dwindling energy reserves, either. His hair is mostly black at this point, with just an off-center streak of gold remaining. "I hope you didn't have any trouble getting away?"

[goldenglasses]

"No problem. I sort of got the sense you probably would have done the same for me if our situations were reversed." He says with a wink. It was still strange talking to someone with his same face, but it was starting to become a little more normal.

Probably says a lot about his life.

"A little trouble." He decides to admit with a small chuckle. "I've gotten a bit rusty. I haven't had a bounty for a few years now, but no damage taken. I just feel I should have been able to shake them a lot sooner."

[love_and_peace]

They've always adapted well!

"A few years?" He'd expect to hear something like that from a version of himself with solid black hair, but this Vash doesn't seem to have burned through his energy quite that far yet. How did he manage to avoid being hunted down all this time? "You'll have to tell me your secret!"

Any objection to having this conversation walking, other Vash? It's just that the residents of Octovern might still be looking for them, and Vash doesn't really want to be taken into custody today. Or any day, for that matter! "For me, even after the big bounty was called off a few years ago, it turns out that there were still plenty of people who wanted a piece of me, ah ha ha ha!"

Literally, in some cases. This planet has grown some strange folks

[goldenglasses]

"Ah, yeah, well, that you see?" Hm, how does one explain what has happened to him as he walks alongside his counterpart. "The best way I found to do that is to kinda, sort of... be randomly taken to a whole new universe from out of nowhere without any rhyme or reason or explanation to why and how?" He shrugs as if that explains it all. "I've sort of been on a different planet and in a different city for some time now."

[love_and_peace]

"A different planet?" Vash's eyes really couldn't get any wider! In a different universe, even? "Wow! You're officially the furthest traveled Vash I've met so far!"

So far the strangest thing he'd experienced was about a year ago, when he'd briefly met a younger version of their brother. And now there's so many versions of them, old and young, those who have survived the upcoming fight with their brother and those who aren't there yet, even at least one version where so many of the events of their lives seem to have happened in a different order. But another planet? Vash is all but wiggling like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Where were you? Was it a green planet? How big was the city? Were the people nice? How was the food? How did you get there?"

[goldenglasses]

"Yeah? You think so?" He laughs shyly and rubs at the back of his head. "I mean, I guess, unless there is another Vash from another universe then I guess I am? Not so sure if that's a good thing to be or not."

Oh shoot, here come the questions. There were many things about the city he has been living in for the past five years he doesn't really like to talk about. "It had a lot of people, actually. Not a lot of green because it was a big city sort of like the major cities around here." As he avoids bringing up July or Augusta. "But the parks in the city were so green! Some of my favorite places to visit in the city. They even had an ocean! But, uh, there was sort of a sea monster in it? So swimming was sort of advised against."

He continues to talk pretty quickly after that in an effort of glossing over the fact that he just said a sea monster. "The people there were SUPER friendly!" They were not. "The food? Was simply amazing! And plentiful! No need for Plants at all!" That part was at least true. "As for how I got there? I don't really know. I just sort of woke up at one point, was compelled to pick a door, then: boom. New city, new world." He thought he had been dreaming when he fell asleep in his brother's cell only to wake up in a whole new world.

3, but not too far out

[whatevermaycome]

It's a big desert. Octovern's outskirts aren't really that far away at all, the trouble with the locals and certain bounties still very much a clear and present danger. All it would take is a couple people looking for red and blond and the jig would be up!

Hopefully nobody's looking.

Most of the easiest to move rocks have been shifted away from the roads to make travel easier, but there's still a couple good sized ones remaining on the many paths out of Octovern, and at the base of one of these, perhaps only a few feet from its long shadow, sits a rather sizeable sturdy box, propped up on a piece of metal rebar which has what looks awfully like a thin rope tied to it, the rope snaking away behind the rocks. Beneath the propped up box sits a plate with what looks awfully ...

That's definitely a chocolate donut, and it's definitely sitting on a cobbled together trigger plate that looks like it's primary purpose is to beep if jostled. A handful of adventurous avian worms haven't quite gotten up the nerve to creep beneath the shadow of the box for the treat waiting inside, but it looks to be inevitable. The box surely isn't for them, they're MUCH too small. Maybe something bigger is meant to come along..

[love_and_peace]

There's more people looking around the vicinity of Octovern for spiked hair and red coats today than there was yesterday, but they're mostly looking north, where that hair and coat was last seen.

He hasn't been having a great week, but at least he still remembers how to ditch an angry mob!

He spots the trap as soon as he rounds the bend in the road, and honestly, he can't believe what he's seeing. It looks like something out of an old cartoon, so much so that he looks up before looking around, just in case there's a precariously balanced boulder suspended above the trap... or a drooling, what was that thing, that used to hunt the zippy tomas-looking bird? A dog? A wolf?

But there's no dogs, no wolves, no hovering boulders, just the line heading off behind rocks over there and a donut that, he has to admit, is making his stomach rumble. Before he can decide that the risk is worth the reward and ends up getting captured, Vash -- for once -- makes the better of two decisions and follows the rope instead, around the side of the pile of rocks it disappears behind.

"Whoever's back there, I don't suppose you have another one of those tasty-looking donuts, do you?"

[whatevermaycome]

Happily, the issue of being mobbed by angry and or greedy people looking to cash in on a bounty aren't problems for the person hiding behind a rock. Nobody looked twice at him, and he rather liked that right now.

Less liking, the way his bait is not working the way he hoped.

As Vash circles around behind the rock and speaks, he's confronted by a very startled and much younger version of what might be himself, albeit with hair an unkempt slump, and a bandaged stump for an arm instead of a prosthetic, squatting barefoot in the dust in jeans and a tanktop and holding the other side of the rope. There's a suspiciously donutish sort of box sitting in the shadow of the rock, beside another bag of some kind of white powder dribbling out. He's got what looks like a half-recovered absolutely ferocious sunburn and is a bit too thin for where he should be at his age, but his gaze is sharp, he's terribly attentive, and as soon as the older man appears, drops the rope, lashes out with one hand and fully intends to drag him RIGHT to the ground beside him with a hissed "Shhh!!!"

And then pick the rope up again as if nothing had happened, peering cautiously around the rock. When he speaks again his voice is barely a whisper. "I've been waiting all day for a big one, do not scare it away."

Give him a minute.

It'll process shortly.

[love_and_peace]

His senses ping that the person on the other side of the rocks is a plant just in time for the plant in question to grab him and pull him down. Vash goes readily, legs folding under him and he even slaps a hand over his mouth for good measure so as not to frighten whatever the younger him is hunting. Because that's him, that's skinny, sunburned kid. That's him, how he looked nearly three quarters of a century ago, right around the time he lost his arm.

This world really is collecting Vashes, isn't it! Sorry for staring, young Vash, but he can't look away.

"What...?" he begins to ask, but no. Young him wants silence, so he'll be silent. Focusing hard, he tries asking the question again, this time mentally. What comes through is probably closer to a general feeling of curiosity, underlain -- unconsciously -- with threads of sympathy and protectiveness, like a toma hen tucking her fledglings under her wing.

[whatevermaycome]

It really is collecting Vashes, and this one has no idea exactly how many. It hasn't really sunken in exactly that there's even more than two, and one of those is an extremely dubious thing right now he's half convinced he hallucinated up.

Something niggles at him. Red coat.

The sand a bit further out is moving, and he watches it like a hawk, eyes narrowed. At least it's quiet again, so it's not likely to get startled away, and maybe FINALLY he can--

He's not used to plant powers being used on him, with the exceptions of losing an arm rather recently, and the mysterious healing aid given by That Guy Who Surely Isn't Actually Him, so when it sinks in that those flickers of emotions aren't his, which of course they aren't, he's not curious or protective, he's ravenous, little frequent meals just weren't cutting it.

The pause is lengthy before he slowly turns and looks back at his older self, expression blank. Unobserved, out in the sand, a lone sandworm nearly his size slowly unburies itself and hauls itself up onto firmer ground with many legs, creeping cautiously towards the box trap.

It's not noticed. Vash stares at Vash for a long, looong moment before dropping his rope and pointing with a little strangled noise of surprise that might have been 'You're a plant!' or 'Oh my god!' or some just a tiny shriek with some syllables mixed in. It's hard to tell, really.

From the other side of the rock there's a thump. And then the box begins scooting past, heading for the sand again as fast as it can go.

[love_and_peace]

Whatever Vash was trying to trap has been trapped! But older Vash doesn't pay it any heed, not when younger Vash is pointing at him like that! It's a good thing he speaks Garble, and can tell that the sounds Vash is making are surprise and not something worse -- anger, accusations, blind panic.

His hand still over his mouth -- are they still being quiet for the trap? -- Vash nods, and waves his free hand in a little wave. Hello! Check out the mole! The lovely, once-blond locks! The pretty eyes! He's you, kiddo!

There's a scraping sound from the other side of the rocks, and Vash, hand still over his mouth, points inquisitively in that direction. Do you want to do something about that, friend? Your, uh, lunch is getting away.

[whatevermaycome]

Apparently this is just going from surprise to surprise, because as the moving box is pointed out, there's another shriek, this one distinctly frustrated, and he lunges to his feet, grabbing the sack of mysterious white powder and scrambling after the box with all the coordinated grace of a puppet with only half its strings.

It doesn't help that he STILL hasn't quite learned how to compensate for altered balance of having only one arm, but he's doing his best!

The silent approach doesn't seem to be in the cards anymore, by the string of curses that follow the mad scramble after the scooting box. And then the logic puzzle of how to get on the moving box with one hand while that one hand is OCCUPIED with carrying something. The bag is only abandoned with GREAT reluctance in favor of scrambling up onto the box, whereupon it slows to a creep, but it's definitely still moving.

It's thumped with one small fist. "Knock it off!" ... "..H..hey, uh. Mister. Can you .. get that for me?" The discarded bag, presumably.

[love_and_peace]

No, he hasn't adapted to only having one arm yet, has he? It took awhile, Vash recalls -- getting the prosthetic installed early on helped with that, especially with the difference in weight from one side of his body to the other, but there's still so much that an arm is used for in basic movement that he hadn't even thought about, until the arm was gone.

Being barefoot out here on the hot rocks can't be great either, but one issue at a time, right? First issue: whatever's in that box! Second issue: being called Mister by his younger self. That's really weird. It doesn't sound right at all.

"Ah, yes! Coming!" This bag here? The one that's dusted with a mysterious white powder? Vash grabs the bag with his synthetic hand -- touching mysterious white powders with bare skin can be bad, kids -- and runs over to assist. Three hands are better than one, right?

"...So what's the plan, exactly?"

wildcard, starting out outside but will come to town. july 21st; cw: not okay episode/flashback

[dontdeserve]

For a little bit in the morning, Vash didn't really pay attention to the date. His sense of time was rather messed up, all told, and he had too much to think about to pay attention to it.

Then a radio where they were staying the night came to life, with a voice he hadn't heard in a century and a half, and he suddenly couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in on him, he was a danger, a danger, he had to get away from everyone, Rem's face mixing with faces from JuLai until he was running, running outside of the building, and onto the sand, until he could no longer hear anyone, then he collapsed to his knees, curling in, a low keening coming out in lieu of the apologies that he could yell into the air but nobody would hear, nobody could hear. Happy birthday, Vash, Nai's voice superimposed over everything...

It would take a while before he could unfold and start looking for the way back, face frozen in a mask of something that didn't feel right but if he tried to move it, he would break again.

[mercifullyheavy]

Vash was the morning person, not Wolfwood, so he was still a little bleary when the radio came on when he was sitting up, trying to get his brain started. He turned to blink at it bewilderedly, as the sound of the woman chirping happily over the airwaves crackled to life, and he almost didn't realize what he was hearing until Vash was suddenly running out the door and Nick's brain shocked itself into wakefulness, looking at the door, at the radio, back at the door, his eyes widening as he finally focused on what he was hearing and the pieces began to fall into place.

SEEDS 5? That wasn't Home ship, right? No, that was SEEDS 3, right? And now, all of those times he'd heard Vash mumbling in his sleep, or when he'd taken a blow to the head and was half-delirious, and he'd heard a woman's name whimpered out in the sounds of distress made a horrible sort of sense. The whole thing was only made worse when he stumbled out of bed and out the door after him in only his slacks and shirt tails and, morbidly-but-unconsciously curious, his eyes sought out the calendar on the wall of the inn on his way out the door.

He rushed outside, stopped fast enough he almost fell over as an awful realization hit and then backpedaled in and shouted at the innkeeper behind the counter; "Is that calendar right???"

"Uhhh...yeah?"

"Jesus Fucking Christ."

That was fucked up, on so many levels, and he was barely processing all of the levels of it as he ran back out the door and looked around, trying to see where he'd gone before asking a bewildered bystander which way the guy in the flashy red coat had run off to and getting a confused point in the direction of the edge of town.

And then he was running after him, realizing only once he was halfway down the street that he hadn't even taken time to put on his shoes. Fuck it. He'd deal with that after he found Vash and tried to get him out of whatever level of Fucked his head was in right now. Luckily, it didn't take him long to pick up the trail of footprints in the sand, and not much longer than that before he finally spotted him collapsed on the ground on the horizon.

The worry about losing him in the desert to a panic attack fading, his steps slowed as he approached, picking up the sound of that keening well before he was close enough to do anything about it, and that just made the sight in front of him even worse. He didn't say much, at least not anything that would require an answer or actual thought, just quiet, soothing sounds so that he would know who was coming up behind him if he was lucid enough to register his footsteps, and then he crouched down once he was close.

There was only a moment of hesitation, his hands hovering over his back before he threw caution to the wind and reached down, leaned down, gently holding his shoulders and laying against his back so that he could rub his back and whisper softly to him.

"You're ok, Vash. It's alright. You're ok, just breathe."

unhecking the journal used...

[tallredridinghood]

The keening turned into a wail, without words, but he did not flinch away from the touch, just curled in a little tighter.

You're ok.

He was always ok. He always survived. He brought disaster, people died, and died, and died, no matter how he tried to stop it, and he survived. He was ok. He was always ok.

Just breathe.

What choice did he have?

It took him a long moment to finally stop staring, unseeing, at the sand, and squeeze his eyes shut. To lean a little into the hold, and then slowly try unfolding himself. His fingers had dug crescent-shaped holes into his palms, but that was going to heal, also.

"I'm sorry." His voice was quiet, flat. "I shouldn't have worried you like this." Deep breath. "We're almost there, right? We should be able to make it today."

He wanted to know, too. What had happened. How the other Vash was. Where the young Vash had gotten to, if they could. Nai, Nico. Now... now Rem. So many people to find. But everything was like through a thick layer of bulb liquid. Distant, muted.

[mercifullyheavy]

He let him take as long as he needed, sighing and resting his cheek between his shoulders as he settled into the spot beside him, and when the keening turned into wailing, the hands rubbing his back wrapped around him as best he could and just held him. There was a small part of him that realized how rare it was for this man to break down like this, something that was so strange, given how used he'd become to these sort of outbursts being the norm, even if not usually to this degree. He could have sat and stewed on that, but honestly, it wasn't even worth it. Making sure he was ok was far more important, especially after the number of times he'd done the same for Nick.

When he felt him begin to unfold, he gave him just enough space to get comfortable when he finally set up, but he didn't fully pull away, either. Instead, he shook his head, resting his chin on his shoulder and keeping an arm around his waist.

"No, Blondie, I'm fine. You're allowed to feel what you feel. Don't worry about me." It was almost irritating, the way he wanted to deflect and put his focus on Wolfwood instead, and might have set him off just a bit if he wasn't already used to that being par for the course. "We've got time. It's not far, so don't rush yourself. We can take a few minutes. I insist."

Because he also knew that Vash would probably also try and deflect from that, too. They certainly had a few people to locate and check in on, and he suspected another one had just been added to the list, if his assumptions about the identity of the woman on the radio were correct. But he seriously doubted waiting long enough for Vash to stop feeling like a broken husk of a man would take so long that the people they were looking for would be gone by the time they found them.

[tallredridinghood]

He would have argued, most days. Right now, he had no energy, so he just leaned against him a little, letting his cheek rest against Wolfwood's hair. It took many more breaths before he managed to find any words.

"I had not... paid attention to the date. It's... Rem couldn't know, but it's the date when I destroyed JuLai. The date when my brother tried to erase who I am. To do that, he took me down my memories until we were very little, taking away everyone. In the end, he c-- he took off Rem's head. It - I never expected to hear her voice again." He was still not crying, too tense to do so, too deep in the chaos of it all. But his breathing was staggered, hard, the words almost disjointed in how hard they were to come out. "The last time I did, outside of that time... I was one year old. She took us to a lifepod, strapped us in, then remained behind, to save as many of the ships as she could. Anyone alive on this planet right now is here because of her. And I can't... I can't even be happy to know she's alive out there."

It should have occurred to him, perhaps. If Nai from before the Crash was here, why not Rem?

[mercifullyheavy]

He let him lean, the arm around his waist brushing his fingers up and down his side in soothing little circles, and just let him talk. After Nico and Wolfwood had found Vash at Lina's house, he'd never really felt comfortable asking about what had happened, had simply taken what Nico had seen as enough to know that whatever it was, it had been very different from the event that resulted in the hole in the moon back home. And Vash hadn't ever seemed like he wanted to talk about it, which was fine by him. Especially given the guilt he'd still been living with over what had transpired in December, and over the fact that he'd been dropped into Vash's lap against his will, forced on him when he already had his own problems to deal with.

In some ways, this...sounded worse than what had happened during the Fifth Moon incident, and it made the anger he felt over the atrocities Knives had committed even stronger. At the same time, he wanted to take the little bits and pieces of his life that were being offered, the little explanations, and hold them in his hand, protect them, especially knowing that it sounded as if there had been a real possibility that he'd almost lost something so precious to him.

It...also made him realize that the date held more significance for Nicholas, too, than he'd initially realized, and the thought hadn't occurred to him until just that moment, too unimportant when put against the weight of everything else.

"I hadn't noticed, either, but July had the same date back home, too. I never knew what yours...or what Needle-Noggin's birthday was. Never really celebrated them when I was little, don't know what mine is, so it just...never occurred to me. I'm sorry, Vash. I really am. That's a level of cruelty that nobody deserves, especially not you." He turned his head, pressing a small kiss to his temple before settling his chin back on his shoulder where they'd been resting before. "Sometimes when he was asleep, Needle-Noggin would mumble things. Lots of times, it was just gibberish, but...if he was havin' a bad enough nightmare, he'd say this name. I never asked, it wasn't my place to pry if he wasn't comfortable talkin' about it, but it was obvious this Rem was important to 'im. I just always thought maybe it was a girl he'd lost over the years."

And oh, in a lot of ways, that almost felt like it would have been a kinder answer.

"You were so young. I knew it had to have been when you were small, just doin' the math, but...that really puts it into perspective, honestly. So...you call her by her name, but...I'm guessin' she was like your mom? Was she another Plant, like the two of you, or-...?" He rubbed his thumb reassuringly against his side again, thinking quietly for a moment after the question trailed off. "It's alright if it's too much for you to process right now. Somethin' that bad happening when you were so young is...that's big." Honestly, it certainly went a long way to explain some of Vash's particular quirks, both of them. He'd grown up seeing enough kids go through severe trauma at very early ages to know that it didn't go away easy, if ever. They always seemed broken, somehow, even when they were able to begin the process of rebuilding their lives in the aftermath. "Just...give yourself time. We don't have to rush into anything right now. We can focus on what we're here to do, and then once we've found Needle-Noggin, and Nai, and...little Vash, and Nico...we can go lookin' for her. Or between, maybe. Whenever you're ready."

At this point, they were going to end up having a little army of themselves and those closest to them, once they found everyone. It was a strange thought, but...he couldn't help but smile a little at it.

"At the very least, from what I'm hearin', she deserves a bit of my thanks for helpin' so many of us out. You think a "thank you" card is good enough for somethin' that big? Oh, and...um...I mean...I get why you might not feel like celebratin' it too much, but...if I'm remembering the dates right...this is the same day I met you. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse, but..." He shrugged, smirking a little, hoping the tiny bit of levity would help pull him out of his head, just a bit. "At the very least, you've made my life a bit better. So thank you, too."

[tallredridinghood]

Vash's breath hitched, and hitched again, at Wolfwood's words, gentle and kind as they were.

"Yes. It was the day I met you, too." Another reason why he'd thought to get away. So it wouldn't seem as though he couldn't stand that part of the day. It was the best part of that day, that and the fact that Nico and Meryl and you survived."

He paused for a little more. Then started again, slowly. "Rem was-- is. Rem is human." Another hesitation. "Nai and I were not the first Independents to ... be born. There was another one before us, a girl. Nobody expected something like that to happen, and as everything unexpected and unknown, they tried to... understand her. In the scientific experimental way." His voice shook. Trailed off. Picked up again. "Fifty years later, the two of us came. And Rem... was awake from cryosleep when we did. So she - hid us. To make sure it wouldn't happen to us. She raised us. A mother, indeed, a very doting one." This part, there is finally some inflection, some lightness to his voice. "Then we found out about Tessla, almost by chance. And Nai couldn't forgive humans. So he." A hand waved towards the sky, palm quickly folded out of sight.

"He was also a year old. And then humanity worked hard to not disprove him. It was really harsh, in the early days, and the plant suffered so humans can think they can thrive. And so since I couldn't join him, I was against him, I guess."

He took a deep breath, and shifted a little. Not out of the hold, but a little straighter.

"When I heard Rem's voice, and thought of the date... in JuLai, he even... wished me a happy birthday. It was suddenly too much, everything. All the lives destroyed because of me. Rem's was the first, and everyone in the Crash. And all those since." A shrug, of the shoulder Wolfwood was not leaning on. "I'm better now, I think."

[mercifullyheavy]

Any attempts at keeping the conversation lighter quickly faded away, along with the little quip he'd initially wanted to give that he was sorry that he had been one of the better parts of that day, when Vash continued, and each new detail about what had happened before the ships fell seemed to slot horribly into place with one of those memories that he'd seen in Needle-Noggin's memories; Data about a test subject, body parts supsended in giant vats filled with liquid, and suddenly everything fell into place like a steel trap, and he felt like he was going to be ill.

No wonder Nai had been so frightened of him. And the fact that as an adult, he would turn around and commit those same acts against Vash, and against countless little human children, did little to blunt the horror and sadness he felt for the boy he'd met in the abandoned December.

"Oh...oh fuck...Vash...Fuck, that-..." He had no words, nothing that would make any of that feel better. So instead, he reached out, and instead of holding him in a gentle, one-armed grasp, he wrapped both of his arms around him, practically clinging to him. "It's...it's just like Livio, only so much worse." And even disregarding what it had done to Nai, Vash's own unique, intense brand of trauma was so much easier to understand, in a way.

But then Vash said something that made his heart twist and he was immediately reminded of all the times he'd blamed himself, said things that made it obvious that he felt like all of it was his fault, and if it had all felt like bullshit before, it was downright nonsensical, now!

"Vash, no. You didn't destroy anyone's lives! Don't you get it? This started so much earlier than you! This isn't even on Nai! You're just victims in all this! You can't hurt children like that an' be shocked when it breaks 'em! It's a fuckin' cycle, Vash, an' sometimes the kids that grow up gettin' hurt grow up only knowin' how to be hurt, when the others only know how to do the hurtin' themselves!" He groaned suddenly, remembering how having those memories shoved into his head had ended, and he buried his face in Vash's shoulder, shaking his head. "Fuck. And I just hurt 'im, too, didn't I? I just made it worse. No wonder the little guy was so terrified of me."

He pulled a gun on a kid who'd already been traumatized and was actively terrorized by the mere existence of people like him. There was so much to unpack there. So many layers of guilt and shame and awful behavior. And still, none of it was on Vash. In the end, from the sounds of it, Vash and Rem were possibly the only ones in this entire generations-long cycle of horror that should have been able to walk away with a perfectly clean conscience.

When Vash said he felt like he might be better, he held him a little tighter, not feeling like he was quite alright anymore. But he corrected himself, slowly letting his arms release until he could pull away, pressing a chest against the hollow-feeling ache underneath his ribs.

"Fuck. I really fucked up. He's just a kid...If I couldn't blame Livio for what he went through, I can't hate your baby brother, especially when he hasn't even done nothin', yet. I'm a fuckin' asshole. God, I'm sorry. I really hope we find 'im before he gets hurt again. He's got a chance, now, you can help keep 'im from breakin' the way he did before, but not if he keeps meetin' shitheads like me out there."

Honestly, he'd felt bad about it before, after he'd managed to come out of the shock of what had happened. This just compounded it all into a deep shame.