(no subject)

[littleblades]

[ he's been awake since before the sun rose and the labors of his training are littered across the desolate landscape in the shape of sliced and diced rocks, old cans, and whatever metal or bits of wood nai could get his hands on. he hadn't wandered too far from the makeshift camp rem had set up, but he didn't want to be too close either.

after all, he needed the space to practice without worry of accidentally hurting her - or anyone - as he practiced using his blades. he was still unsteady in controlling them past the length of his arm, but if he wanted the precision control his perfectionism demanded, then he knew no amount of training was wasted.

now, he stood in front of a tall rock formation. he knew from the top he'd be gifted with the sight of everything spread out in all directions. he wants to see everything.

he just needed to scale it without falling and injuring himself in any way. simple enough.

his progress climbing up is slow as he tries to keep his grip from slipping, nails digging into the rock where he finds purchase. with any luck, he'll make it to the top without any issue. ]

Comments

[louboutinjudas]

[ Once finally free of his annoying blond tail, Wolfwood heads out into the desert. The car he'd managed to hotwire earlier was on the other side of the ruins of July, and while he wasn't sure it had enough charge to get him all the way to Hopeland, it would at least get him farther away from this place than he'd manage on foot.

He doesn't spot the kid until he's almost right under him, so caught up is he in his own bullshit. But there he is, halfway up the cliff face, just a spot of white up higher than any kid should be climbing. ]

What the...? Oi! [ Cupping his hands around his mouth, Wolfwood hollers up at the boy. ] You're gonna fall, get down from there!

[littleblades]

[ he was determined to make it to the top, the throbbing pain in his fingers from gripping at the jutted grooves in the rock and the sound of the wind rushing past his ears the only things his mind focuses on now. it's a welcome relief from the unforgiving barrage of intrusive thoughts that battered him endlessly. if he just kept moving, then he wouldn't need to think.

fate can be so cruel. of course, when he hears the sound of someone calling out to him, his concentration breaks, and impulsively he looks down in the direction of the voice. that's all it takes, really, to throw him off completely. that and a misplaced hand, the rock under his palm giving out the moment he places pressure there.

that's all it takes before he realizes he's slipping down and then falling, his fingers scraping against the rock painfully before the rush of air pushes him out of reach. his heart lurches terribly as his vision is filled with the open, blue skies. ]

[louboutinjudas]

[ Oh shit.

He can't quite tell what happened, but one second the kid is clinging like a lizard to the rock face and the next he's in the air, falling. Wolfwood moves before it even registers what he's seeing, dropping the bag of supplies foisted off on him by Vash's mom and running as fast as he can to get under the kid. ]

I've got you!

[ The ground beneath his feet is solid rock, which is bad news for kids falling out of the sky, but good news for the assholes trying to catch them. At least he's got something to push off against as he leaps into the air, flinging his arms around the boy mid-fall, and then they're tumbling, Wolfwood wrapped around him to take the brunt of the impact... and the resulting road rash. ]

[littleblades]

[ from free fall to suddenly being snatched out of the air is a disorienting experience, without a doubt. the following moments happen so quickly, he can't discern which way is up or down as he's tucked against the stranger's chest until they hit the ground.

the impact is painful, even knocking the air from his lungs. nai gasps as kicked up dirt sprays him in the face, clogging his nose and choking his throat as he tries to regain his breathing. all at once, he's brought back down to the earth, terrible clarity restored. slowly he lifts his head to peer at the face that, he realizes, saved him.

what he sees is the barrel of the gun staring back at him, an empty dark hole ready to pull him in if he stared into it any longer. the memories overlap his own thoughts, his own vision of what he was looking at right now and the panic punches straight through him.

nai screams, limbs pushing out to try and untangle himself from the stranger - wolfwood, this is wolfwood, this isn't a stranger he knows nai. everything hurt, from his bleeding fingers to the aching from the impact, even with wolfwood in between him and the hard, hard earth. he needs there to be distance, he needs to get away before the gun is pointing at him again. ]

[louboutinjudas]

[ He finally rolls to a stop, the wind knocked out of him, but he can tell by the squirming that the kid is at least alive. He'd sigh with relief, if his lungs were working.

But then the kid in his arms panics, stepping on him in his rush to get away. Wolfwood can't even be bothered to try and stop him -- the kid's alive, and doing well enough that he can run away, so that's fine. Mission accomplished. Instead he rolls over onto his side and coughs hard, two, three times, to force his diaphragm to stop fucking up and let him breath again.

And everything hurts, but at least it doesn't feel like he broke anything. He's skinned and bruised head to toe, but that'll heal. He's had worse. ]

Fuck.

[ Even as dry croaks go, that was pathetic. He coughs again, then manages to sit up, holding his aching head in his hands. ]

Ow. ...Kid? You okay?

[littleblades]

[ the release is a relief and nai is immediately scooting back, desperate to get his feet back under him. it's so hard to breathe, the dust filling his lungs. ]

St- Stay away.

[ speaking hurts, throat too dry to swallow comfortably. nai keeps his gaze down because every time he looks at wolfwood straight on, all he can see is that gun staring back at him. ]

Just- stay away from me.

[louboutinjudas]

[ Well. That's... an unsurprising response from a child on their own to the adult who just grabbed them, sure. Wolfwood waves a weary hand in the kid's direction, not making any movement toward standing quite yet. ]

No problem. I'm over here, just bleedin' all over from saving your life, no big deal.

[ There's something about the kid that's familiar, isn't there? Something about the eyes?

It can't be. ]

...Vash?

vanilla vash

[dontdeserve]

[ vash has been away for a bit longer this time. still looking at the plants. but at least now he has met delphinium, and that has given him more knowledge, and ... more hope. so he is heading back to rem's place, with supplies and news and a suggestion, when he can feel knives's powers coming out in very, very close proximity to rem's new home, and then he's running, running as fast as he can-- only to reach the location before reaching the house, and there... doesn't seem to be. blood. or anyone hurt.

he looks around in confusion, and it only takes a moment before he finds the one moving thing at this time.

a much, much smaller thing than he expected, and he blinks, then his eyes go comically open. ]

N-nai?

[littleblades]

[ attempt to scale the towering rock formation number five or six or seven, he isn't keeping track any more that he cares about his bloodied fingers. his clothes are dirtied from falling over and over, mixed in with streaks of blood every time he goes to wipe his hands on the fabric. if he completely focuses on this one task, then nothing else needs to matter right now.

he hears his name and instinctively knows who it is before he even looks back. he sees vash over his shoulder, taking in his appearance with muted recognition. it didn't matter if this vash was the vash from before or after or during. it didn't matter when nai knew everything he needed to know already.

nai turns away from vash to go back to studying the jagged rock in front of him, mapping his next attempted ascent. ]

Hi, Vash.

[dontdeserve]

[ vash feels his breath coming short, torn between affection and. fear. last time he saw nai looking like that, he had--

deep breaths, vash. ]

You... don't seem ... surprised?

[ ... is rem okay ]

[littleblades]

We've met already. Or maybe... an alternate you? I don't know what to call it yet.

[ he sighs, too tired for someone his size but it can't be helped. he looks down at his hand, nails broken and filed down from the rock. ]

Rem isn't far from here, if you wanted to see her.

[dontdeserve]

I know where she should be.

[ quietly, but just as tired. or even more so. ]

Did you - is she all right?

[littleblades]

[ maybe if he didn't know better, the question wouldn't sound like an accusation. but it does and it hurts much more than nai thought it would.

he starts to pick at the scrapes decorating his fingers and palm, the pain a good distraction from the thundering in his ears. his voice is tight, quiet. ]

When I left this morning she was still asleep. [ he had left her a note, just a simple I'll be back scribbled on a scrap paper. ] If you're worried you should go see her.

[love_and_peace]

[ He's dreaming of falling.

It's not a bad dream, like falling dreams usually are. He's falling slowly enough that the wind isn't blinding him or tearing the breath from his lungs like a real fall from a vast height would. If he'd ever been swimming, he would immediately liken it to sinking beneath the surface of the water, an easy drift into the depths. It's comfortable, the sky warm but not too hot, and there's more clouds than he's ever seen in the waking world -- fat, white and grey puffs sitting on bands of heat rising from the surface below. He spreads out his arms -- something else that's impossible to do when falling, he knows -- and just lets himself drift, a feather on the breeze, rocking his way slowly down to the planet's surface.

And then he hits the ground hard enough to wake up.

He's on his feet in an instant, blinking sleep out of his eyes, sure he's still dreaming. He was just back at the inn in December, wasn't he? With Wolfwood, and another version of himself. The ground is hot beneath his feet, and he stares in confusion at his boots, lying on the hard stone beside him.

How did he get here? Where is here, anyway? And who...?

Something bright catches his eye, and Vash looks up, blearily, to see what sure looks like Nai, climbing the side of a cliff just a few yards away. Did he lose time again? Did something happen?

He'll worry about the details later. He grabs his boots and stumbles down the path towards his little brother, not daring to call out until Nai reaches the very top for fear of startling him. ]

[littleblades]

[ the view from the top is pretty nice, once the dizzying vertigo starts to wear off just a bit. the winds are stronger too, whipping his hair into a mess that will surely have rem fussing over him whenever he decides to return, but for now he's pleased enough to simply sit here.

he can see further out, tiny dots of landmarks interspersed iles apart from each other across the desert sands. beyond that lay the horizon and the lines of atmosphere separating the earth from the skies. it'd be nice if he could stay out here until sunset.

from his perch up above, something red catches his eye from down below. instantly, he knows- ]

-- Vash?

[ he calls down, his heart thundering inside his chest as the distance between himself and the ground rushes up. his stomach drops into an icy cold that nauseates him. the real question is how he was going to get down... ]

[love_and_peace]

[ As soon as he sees Nai make it up over that last ledge, Vash breathes a sigh of relief and drops to the ground, thumbing buckles on his boots as fast as he can so he can get them back on his feet. He's just barely finishes when Nai spots him, and he waves in greeting. ]

I'll come to you!

[ It's been awhile since he's climbed a cliff, and he wasn't nearly this exhausted when he did it last... but nobody's shooting at him this time, so hopefully everything balances out! Stay put, little brother -- he'll be there soon. ]

[littleblades]

[ instead of verbally answering, nai just gives a jerky nod before scooting back from the edge. he tries to swallow down the annoying lump now lodged in his throat, but it persists. nai pulls his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around them as if any of this will help ease the choking grip around his heart.

vash was here. of course he was here, by choice or by some unknowable design. he had hoped that by their next reunion he'd have some better control over himself, these thoughts and the memories that now plagued him. the image of himself, older and far wiser than he could grasp as he was now, superimposed over everything that came across his mind. he needed to be better, stronger, capable, but he was failing. he could see easily imagine the look in his older self's eyes, the disappointment if he saw nai now.

and vash... nai shakes his head, pressing his face into his knees as he tries to hold himself as tightly as he possibly could with his strength. but it isn't enough to hurt like he needs it to. ]

[love_and_peace]

[ It takes him longer to get to the top than it should have, and by the time he drags himself up over the lip of the cliff he's breathing hard and sweaty. He wants nothing more than to collapse, maybe even close his eyes for awhile, but he has to talk to Nai first.

So instead his sits back on his heels with a sigh, and it's only then that he notices that Nai is sitting curled tightly around himself, as though frightened. Vash can't blame him for that -- there's nothing pleasant about the forced memory share that he inflicted on Nai. He raises his hands slowly, letting Nai see that they're empty of bother weapons and feathers. ]

I'm glad you're here. I was worried you'd gone home without letting me apologize first.

[littleblades]

[ nai lifts his head when vash climbs over the edge, his tightened posture unfurling just a little in the presence of his brother. unable to help it, he raises a brow questioningly. ]

Why are you sorry?

[ he hadn't been afraid, not at first, at vash's transformation. it was so completely different from everything he thought he knew, nai had been in awe. his brother was beautiful.

but the memories that had assaulted him had been less so, shaken him straight to his core. those memories flooding him, then wolfwood screaming - ]

Besides, I don't want your apology.

After the great reveal

[cowgoesmoo]

NAI!

[ They all knew, all of them. Everyone was living on this desert planet with almost no technology, without enough to eat or enough water, because of Nai, and they all knew it. All the adults. All the Vashes. They all knew what he did, and they hated him for it. ]

Nai, where are you!?

[ They hated him! ]

Answer me!

[ornamentals]

[ nai had gone out that morning with a net and intentions to catch worms. after meeting zazie he'd grown curious about the native creatures of this planet, how they glowed and thrummed in synchronized harmony in ways that felt a little familiar.

catch and release, careful to never damage a wing or leg. when he hears vash calling out to him, kni is standing at the top of a dune with a fluttering worm in hand. he lets it go as he turns to the direction of his brother's call. ]

I'm over here!

[ but already he's moving down the small sand dune to meet vash halfway, net handle in hand hanging by his side. ]

Vash, are you okay?

[cowgoesmoo]

[ Vash is not okay. Vash is a whole mess -- he's still covered in dust from playing earlier, but that not unusual. The tear tracks on his face and his red puffy eyes? That's not normal, not for a happy-go-lucky kid like him.

When he sees Nai, visible relief washes over him. He doesn't even wait for Nai to drop the net before throwing his arms around his brother and holding him so close it's a wonder they both can still breathe. ]

I'm not gonna leave you! Ever!

[ornamentals]

[ he can see the mess on vash's face, but worse is the discordance between them through their connection. it's all he has to go off of before vash is rushing at him with a strong embrace that it nearly has nai stumbling. but he drops the net to wrap his arms around vash in return, fretting. ]

Vash? [ his hand comes up to rub slow circles into his brother's back, knocking their heads together lightly. ] I know you won't.

Did... something happen?

[cowgoesmoo]

[ His feelings are such a jumble even Vash doesn't know what's going on in there. He's frightened, and angry, and so so sad, but also fiercely protective and loving of Nai, of all his brothers really, every Knives ever. Even that soothing hand on his back isn't really doing much to calm him down. ]

I know. [ He's mumbling into the side of Nai's neck, but hopefully his words are clear enough. ] I know about the crash. [ His grip on Nai tightens, if such a thing is even possible. ] Why didn't you tell me?

[ornamentals]

[ ah, he thinks. there it is.

nai could give all sorts of excuses, reasons to explain why he didn't or didn't want to say anything, but in the end he decides to say nothing. he falls silent, staring over vash's shoulder at the shifting sand beneath them.

vash knew now. he couldn't consider it a secret when just about everyone knew and he knew that they knew when they looked at him, clocking him as the one who destroyed everything. a path paved with good intentions leading them into the bowels of hell itself.

at least with vash he could be honest. ]

... I was afraid. [ of what he'd think of him, that same look of sadness that every other vash gave him. he didn't want to see him regard him with such heartache, too. ] Do you... hate me?