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[ he's been awake since before the sun rose and the labors of his training are littered across the desolate landscape in the shape of sliced and diced rocks, old cans, and whatever metal or bits of wood nai could get his hands on. he hadn't wandered too far from the makeshift camp rem had set up, but he didn't want to be too close either.

after all, he needed the space to practice without worry of accidentally hurting her - or anyone - as he practiced using his blades. he was still unsteady in controlling them past the length of his arm, but if he wanted the precision control his perfectionism demanded, then he knew no amount of training was wasted.

now, he stood in front of a tall rock formation. he knew from the top he'd be gifted with the sight of everything spread out in all directions. he wants to see everything.

he just needed to scale it without falling and injuring himself in any way. simple enough.

his progress climbing up is slow as he tries to keep his grip from slipping, nails digging into the rock where he finds purchase. with any luck, he'll make it to the top without any issue. ]

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Hmm...

[ rem thought vash would be upset at him, a fear not unfounded. even nai had been a little worried himself, although he'd never admit it, even to himself. it was easier to say it didn't matter if vash was upset or not, because that wasn't what mattered.

vash being safe and happy - that was what mattered.

but in the end, that little thread of worry was still there. if he didn't then he would have told vash much sooner. the relief of knowing vash wasn't angry or upset enough to refuse him... even as he frowns at vash, he can't conjure any hint of heat behind it all. only love, and appreciation seeped in warmth. ]

I'm not mad. And I'm not mad at her, either. [ he gives vash's ear another tug before his expression lightens just a fraction. ] We should talk to her together, that would help her feel better. [ rem loved them, and kni loved rem. she held a part of his heart, separate yet close to vash in ways he couldn't put into words just yet. rem was rem, his human mother. vash loved her, he knew this much, but he wondered just how his older selves felt, too.

kni bumps their heads together lightly, arms reaching up to wrap around vash again. ] So, what about you?

[ Nai pulling on his ear again is doing a lot to help lighten the mood, actually. He's gonna stick a wet finger in Nai's ear if he keeps it up, but it's definitely helping the mood! ]

What 'bout me?

[ Nai's not mad. That's a relief, for a bunch of reasons! Mostly, if he had been mad, then that would've meant that he wanted to keep all this a secret from Vash still, and that wouldn't be okay at all. Little secrets are okay, dumb things, but big stuff? They have to tell each other the big stuff -- they have to. How can they watch out for each other otherwise?

(And there's still that mean little voice at the back of Vash's mind that says that maybe Nai didn't want him to know because he's too dumb, too much of a baby to be trusted with something this important. That nobody told him about the ships and all because they didn't think he could handle it. Because he needs to be protected.) ]

[ no more ear pulling - for now!

but kni does sigh, eyes searching vash's as he gathers his thoughts. everything felt loose and out of control, unable to properly grasp at even one thing. this reality was a nightmare only because he knows what he's lost to be here. ]

I don't trust humans. They'll never understand us, even the good ones. [ 'good' but the word felt constricted. he didn't have the experiences that his older brother had, so he supposed with the way things were now, he could try to understand. things had changed, regardless of whatever nai wanted to happen. so he would adapt. ]

But we can understand each other. I want to know everything about you. [ his hand comes up to brush through vash's wild mop of hair. ] And you can know everything about me. That sounds fair.

[ It really just wants to stand up on its own! Add in the dust and sweat of living on a desert world, plus only bathing every few days to conserve water, and he's definitely already got his adult self's distinctive broom-headed style!

...He might just shave it all off. It'd be easier to take care of, all things considered. ]

Yeah. [ He leans in, to rest his forehead against Nai's. It's almost the same feeling as the connection he had with Knives, almost. Everyone else might have kept the truth from him because they didn't think he could handle it, but Nai was just scared. He can't be mad about that. ] Yeah, okay. That's fair.

[ And he has to admit, deep down, that Nai's not totally wrong about humans. Rem made a horrible mistake once and he knows that he can trust her with their safety now forever, but there's so many other people in this world who don't feel the same way. He's been listening to the radio, and there's a lot of people on there talking about the missing plants, and a monster in the sky, and the ships from Earth. A lot of those people have been saying things about plants -- both their dreamy-drifty sisters in their bulbs and the independents from Earth -- that make him wary.

Maybe there's other good humans out there, but the good ones sure aren't talking on the radio about the 'plant problem'. ]

I'm glad you're here. [ He leans in more, so they're temple to temple, cheek to cheek, and Vash feels his tension drain away as Nai's presence helps quiet the anxiety rattling through him. Glad is the world's biggest understatement -- he's not sure he could handle all this alone. They aren't meant to be alone. ] I'm sorry you had to leave him, but I'm glad you're here with me.

[ nai can't stand the radio, from the terribly jerky and loud jazz musical numbers being played to the sounds of humans talking - arguing, tones sharp and instigating, he didn't want to focus on those things. after all, he had more important tasks at hand to concentrate on instead. his gate abilities were amateur at best, and knowing he could be better only pushed him to train harder. as if he didn't already have a world's worth of reasons to reach his peak potential right here in his arms. ]

I'm sorry, too. [ vash left his own brother to be here, two lost souls finding each other again despite everything in the way. slowly he rocks them side to side, brushing their cheeks together. their connection pulses in tune with how nai's heart squeezed. ] But, maybe... maybe they'll find each other, like how we found each other, too. If anything is possible, I want it to be that. [ it feels like wishful thinking, something nai tries hard to avoid simply to distance himself from painful letdowns, but for his brother and for vash's he hopes beyond hope that maybe it can be true.

nai presses another kiss to vash's cheek, uncaring if the taste of sand and sweat touch his lips. ] I'm happy too, Vash. [ and then, quieter, ] I love you.

[ Vash is a grimy mess! But after clinging to Nai so tightly, so's Nai. Everything they have belongs to the other one too, right? Love and grief, toys and dirt. No secrets between them, and no boundaries.

It's enough. It'll be enough.

There's too many feelings swarming around in Vash's chest, and they come out in a giggle. ]

I love you too.

[ He gives Nai his own big smacking kiss on the cheek, then steps back, grabbing Nai's hand and pulling him toward the station. ]

Come on. We've gotta talk to Rem.

[ She's going to be sad, and that'll be hard, but if they're together he can handle it. ]

[ that's all well and good and true, but nai would like to have less of vash's grimy dirt on him usually. preferably.

nai rolls his eyes when he feels that gross, wet kiss vash leaves on his cheek and pushes back the urge to wipe his cheek clean as vash grabs his hand. ]

Oh, you do, huh? That's sooo embarrassing!

[ like he didn't just say 'i love you' a moment ago, opting instead to tease vash as he's pulled along back home. ]

Not as embarrassing as your face!

[ Sure he's got the same face, but that's not the point of stupid sibling insults! Reality doesn't factor in.

At least when they head back to the station, and Rem, things are good between them. Vash is even smiling, although the big grin fades some as they approach Rem's place -- he wasn't very nice to her a couple minutes ago, and while he knows he has to apologize, it's still never easy to actually do it. ]

My face isn't nearly as embarrassing as yours! It's even covered in dirt, gross!

[ the sounds of light bickering and kni's laughter carry over the winds as they approach home. his chest feels lighter, hand in hand with vash giving him a strength he could never find anywhere else.

while vash may seem to falter, kni takes it upon himself to be the pillar for both his brother and rem here. he takes the lead in pulling vash inside as he calls out for their mother,]

Rem, we're back!

[ Rem hurries to meet them when she hears Nai call out, and the worry in her heart eases a little when she sees two squabbling twins looking like they're doing okay.

She smiles softly and walks up to her boys, leaning down a bit to ruffle their hair. ]

Hi, sweeties. Big Vash made some hot chocolate, I can heat it up on the stove if you want it?

[ He always wants hot chocolate! But Vash is still a little hesitant, even with Rem's hand in his hair. ]

I'm sorry I pushed you. And yelled.

[ He's not letting go of Nai's hand anytime soon, for the record. Maybe not ever. ]

I shouldn't've done that. I'm sorry.

Vash can have mine. [ just the thought of something as sweet as chocolate makes his teeth itch. ] Or you can.

[ nai falls silent as he listens to vash apologize, picking up the pieces to understanding whatever happened before he found nai earlier. he squeezes vash's hand in his. ]

I told him I wasn't upset, either. He was going to find out sooner or later. [ maybe it should have been him to tell vash the truth, the future. a possible future, but vash was right to understand nai's fear. at least... at least it'd been rem to tell him. to explain things. ]

[ There's a soft smile as Vash speaks, and she gives him a proud look. He's such a good child, even in situations like this. ] It's okay, honey. I know you were very upset, but I appreciate the apology.

[ She gives Nai an extra pat on the head as he declines the drink. She will never not make a serving for him as well, to make him feel included... and Vash can usually polish off two servings, anyway. ]

I should have told you sooner... I'm really not good at timing these things, am I?

[ Tessla. This. She should remember that they are smarter than the average human children. ]

Edited 2023-08-03 15:47 (UTC)

[ Yeah, she should have told him sooner, but he can’t just say that! So he shrugs again, swinging the hand holding Nai’s a little. ]

Everybody else knows, huh?

[ And that’s really the problem here. He doesn’t like being excluded because all the grownups don’t think he’s mature enough to hear about bad things, but he really doesn’t like the idea that everyone else in their lives right now is looking at Nai like he’s, well, bad. ]

All the grown ones. Because it happened like that for all of them. Didn’t it?

[ He’s hoping she’ll say no. He’s hoping so much that she’ll say that there’s universes where he saw how scared and hurt Nai was before things went too far, that they were able to find a way to feel safe without having to… to try and get rid of all the humans. He wants to believe that there’s some version of their lives where they got to be happy! ]

[ was nai bad? even he didn't know. despite everything he's experienced up until now, he still feels similar, if not the same, about humans compared to when he first woke up here. ugly, mewling sinners who had created them, something to be enslaved. nai looked upon his gods with disgust. he'd sooner die than bend a knee to humanity.

but... vash still cared. his future self had tried to snuff it out, but he didn't like the ending to that route either.

he didn't want to see vash hurt, not anymore. if they looked upon him in pain, then he'd accept it. what choice did he have, but to shoulder the burden of his every self? the brother whose failure was written clear across vashs' bodies. he hadn't yet, but he knows how close he'd been to that point of no return. then he'd be just like the rest.

nai looks away from both rem and vash, finding a spot on the wall to focus on instead. vash swings their hand lightly and nai squeezes it again. ]

[ Unfortunately she's not going to lie and tell him no. ]

...yeah. As far as I know, every older Vash knows, as well as his friends. However, I haven't met any Vash that doesn't absolutely love and care deeply about our Nai.

[ Well, at least two of them. She can't imagine it's that different, though. He's still picking his path.

Rem looks at her boys and their joined hands, and then up at Nai. She can tell that he's going through a lot of feelings, but not what. It's telling in the way he doesn't want to look at either of them. ]

It's going to be okay. Whatever happens between the older yous do not matter as much as your relationship with each other.

[ So all the other Vashes, they'd made the same mistake he did, only they didn't get the chance to come here and make it right? Crap. ]

I told him, I'm not ever gonna leave him.

[ Vash glances over, sees Nai looking away, and immediately grabs him in a (loving!) headlock. He's going to have to work extra hard to stop Nai from getting lost in his own thoughts, isn't he? It's gonna take a lot of effort! But he's got a chance to make things better, and he can't mess it up. It's too important. Nai is too important. ]

No matter what.

Ugh-!

[ vash takes him by surprise, a quick and dirty way to shake those thoughts from his clouding his head and unfortunately effective. nai growls, trying to shove vash off with a growl. ]

Vash, stop! I already smell bad because of you!

[ rem was right, they had to make their own paths separate from their future selves. for himself and for vash.

nai jabs a few wiggling fingers into vash's side, sorry rem they're going to start scuffling at this rate. ]

I couldn't be rid of you even if I tried. [ which he'd never, not in a million years. ]

[ Rem watches them bicker and smiles a little. That's her boys, being rascals. ]

Oh, you smell bad, Vash? Do I need to fill the bath again? [ She teases fondly.

The fact that this place gave the twins the opportunity to make their own paths is a blessing. It made all the strange things worth it. ]

[ No tickling! That makes Vash shriek and now it's war, brother. Somebody's getting sat on, and it's not going to be him! ]

I don't need a bath!

[ Is that true? Possibly. He's very dusty, and after all that crying his face certainly needs a wash, but is he messy enough to need a whole bath, with clean clothes after? Or is Nai just being a jerk? ]

I need hot chocolate!

[ don't even try it, or he'll keep trying to tickle you, vash! nai squeals as he tries to escape his fate as being sat upon and is mildly successful, both hands working to try and aim for vash's ticklish sides. ]

You need a bath! You smell like a tomas!

[ nai is only a jerk when it's the truth! or at least a very stretched out truth. ]

I won't give you my hot chocolate otherwise!

Okay, okay! Break it up, you little rascals!

[ Rem laughs and grabs one boy under each arm, wobbling since they're honestly way too big for her to even try to lift by now. ]

Vash, let's compromise! Go clean up with a wet towel. I'll keep your chocolate hot.

[ But he was about to win the fight! Dangit! ]

Okay, okay, put me down! [ A day this hard definitely needs hot chocolate! ] I'm gonna be clean in five minutes, time me!

[ And he's off and running! ]

[ yeah right. ]

Five minutes or you lose, Vash! [ nai calls out after him, before heaving a small sigh. he rubs his palm over his cheek where he's sure vash smeared dirt. ]

He's so embarrassing.

[ but there's affection behind that annoyed tone. ]

He's a very silly boy. I love that.

[ Rem replies and looks at Nai with a soft smile. She licks her thumb and wipes the little dirt smear Vash left on his cheek. Peak mom behavior. ]

How are you doing, sweetie?