nomans_land | (no subject)

(no subject)

Not every town is abandoned, as time continues its shenanigans. This one is as run down as any other, cobbled together with parts and debris, but it seems intact enough, its plant dangling over the town, people going about their business for the most part unperturbed.

For the most part. There is some grumbling, most of it more nervous than angry, that their new neighbor is a well known monster, and how dangerous it is to be so close. The only reassurance, nothing bad has happened yet.

Yet.

Sitting in the rocking chair of his newly acquired home's creaky porch, Knives Millions does absolutely nothing to any of them. He hasn't harmed anyone as yet, but part of the town seems to be from his time, not whatever base timeline it is, and running on reputation alone means he's so far been unbothered in return, and the plant is being treated with exceptional care. Had she been, before he arrived? He wasn't sure. But he can tell from here her mood was content, so he does nothing besides sit there, rocking idly, and cleaning the gun he'd liberated from someone else several days before.

A beat up jeeplike vehicle sits in the shade behind the house, and there is a tiny, perhaps six or so inches high, little sprout of broad leafed green growing determinedly by the porch. With the door wide open, it's fairly obvious this home had once been occupied with people distinctly Not Knives, but there's no signs of violence.

It's peaceful enough for the moment.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The trouble is, he does understand, and thus he worries. He knows where it led him, and while he had no regrets over the millions of humans dead because of him, he did regret the way it separated him from his brother.

If Vash chose to erase humanity to protect Nai, he's fairly sure Nai won't shun his brother. That was something, at least.]

One day, I think you should tell him. But that's your choice. We don't need anyone, like we need air or water. But we want a lot, and I think I can safely say he will always, always want you there, even if there's another Vash the same age around. We're flocking creatures, we plants, we're just usually prevented from expressing it by glass bulbs. The more of us, the better.

[So few independents. But there was a lunatic Vash out there changing that, and an entire TOWN full of their kind..]

But maybe I can soothe one of those other fears, a little. Very... very few people know it was me who's done so much, Nai isn't likely to be a target by anyone looking for revenge with the exception, perhaps, for a man older Vashes seem to encounter and travel with. The others who know, look upon you and your brother as gods. And one man.. just one human.. we can protect him from that pretty easy.

[ The distinction between want and need is a hard one, especially when it comes to his brother. Without Nai here, Vash feels his loss like he feels thirst, or cold -- it's in his bones, that loss. He's said before that it feels like missing an arm maybe would, but it's more than that. They were made to be two halves of a whole, and he's just not a whole person on his own. He feels... empty.

But he can't say that to Knives -- not because it's a secret, but because another Vash, in another world, left Knives behind. And he's not alone now, but it's not the same thing, is it? Having his big brother here, as good and comforting as it is, isn't the same as having his brother here. Vash starts to think comfort back at Knives, the mental equivalent of a big warm hug, but that drops off sharply at the mention of one human. ]

Wolfwood.

[ The man who pointed a gun at his brother. The man his older selves are stupid over, for some reason.

How would Wolfwood like having a gun pointed at him? Maybe one day he'll find out. ]

You're gonna teach me to shoot, right?

[Knives learned the painful difference after decades of solitude didn't kill him but tore at him like an addict denied their fix. And like an addict, he had desperately wanted ... but not needed.

The not-hug, the feeling of warmth from without is recognized for what it is; how quick the young pick up new skills! In no time at all Nai and Vash would have no need to bother with radios to find out where each other are and this sort of thing wouldn't ever happen again. That too is warm, the reassurance of knowing.

There's a pause, and his brow furrows.]

Ah, you've met him. I do intend to teach you, yes. And soon. The sooner you both know how to handle weapons the better. Now.

[He tilts a little to look directly at this littlest of brothers, expression sober.]

That was not the tone I expect of friendliness. Has he already threatened you, or Nai? Speak true.

[ Oh, Vash has no intention of lying. Not about this. ]

You didn't know?

[ That's a surprise. He would have thought for sure Nai would have said something! But Nai doesn't like to talk about things that upset him, does he? ]

He pointed a gun at Nai.

[ And he is never allowed in the station ever again. ]

Nai was with an older me, and Wolfwood showed up with another older me. I don't know what happened, 'cause Nai didn't want to say, but Wolfwood pointed his gun at him and yelled that he was gonna shoot him, and Nai ran away. [ And, just in case it wasn't clear: ] I wasn't there. ...Nai doesn't like talking about it.

I'm left out of the loop on many things. Likely because of what I might do if I found out.

[Nai, like Vash, doesn't want to seem weak. How much was he bottling up?

Although he'd just cautioned against doing such things, Knives neatly puts away the indignant fury of the very IDEA of one of his minions daring to pull a gun on ANY plant, never mind a younger version of his own master. No, Wolfwood's loyalty didn't lie with Knives, it was with Vash. And only Vash, not the rest of humanity.

The low, thoughtful noise is not ... quite ... a growl.]

You're in a prime position to teach him a few lessons, if you're so inclined. You may not yet have access to the same powers Nai can already use, but you have something he doesn't: incredible influence over that specific human. Especially so given your age, if I remember things right. It's been a while, though.

[ When he gets bigger, Vash decides right there and then, he's going to learn how to growl just like that. It's really scary sounding! ]

What can I do? [ Other than shooting the man, that is. ] He likes big me. I've never even seen him.

You can use his loyalty and faith against him, and make him hesitate at worst. At best.. Hm, no, let me back up a little, you'll need the nuance to make use of it. Bear with me, if you will.

[The not-growl doesn't repeat, fading to a hum of musing.]

I'll say this, so it may never be used to shock you: my human servants are the reason he is the way he is, violent and cruel even to his own kind. But he is also incredibly loyal, as any member of my Eye of Michael are, save that his loyalty is not to me, it is to Vash the Stampede. As they serve me, and do their best to accomplish what they believe is my will, so too does that human serve Vash. They will both deny it, but observe and you'll see they're very much the same. I sent him long ago to protect Vash, where I was not allowed to, and they became very much a pack of two. He did his job exceptionally well, so long as Wolfwood, known to me as 'Chapel', lived, so too would Vash.

[He gestures slightly with one hand.]

You are, in the eyes of that human, certainly Vash the Stampede. He will hesitate to harm you, he may even hesitate to disobey you; he will see your older self in his mind, not who you are, and act accordingly. You may fearlessly step between him and his target, he has been taught carefully not to pull the trigger on a plant and will especially hesitate because of who he thinks you are. Any wound you deal him will not come from you, but the image in his mind, and what beloved pet doesn't cringe and flinch at the idea of their beloved master striking them? And you are so young, so apparently helpless, that retaliation is unthinkable.

[How morbid. Knives sighs.]

And since it seems our sisters are bringing back EVERYONE who dies, you may use him for target practice until it ceases being useful to you, it isn't as if it'll keep him dead. Or even injured for long, he is terribly resilient. So don't hesitate to strike if you feel he deserves it.

[ There's a lot there for Vash to take in! Knives had servants? He's the reason that this Wolfwood guy and the older Vashes know each other? Tht Wolfwood guy is Vash's servant?

But the most important piece of information in there, the one that had him sitting fully upright and staring at Knives intently, is the one right at the end. ]

People who die don't stay dead? Are you sure?

Absolutely certain. I tested it rather thoroughly with a very stubborn human trespasser who thought a house with a little girl in it would be an easy target. He knows better now. A few weeks ago someone else said something similar over that damned radio.

[Honestly he really shouldn't be so frank about going out of his way to murder the same person over and over like that, but if Vash already knows about the Fall then he already knows about Knives' less wholesome inclinations towards handling threats.]

If you want some evidence, we can go hunt down one of those people coming out of July.

[He fully expects Vash to refuse, and thus the offer isn't really all that genuine. But if taken up on it, well, that'll change.]

Any other questions? I don't want to leave pertinent information out.

[ Oh Tessla. While Knives has been here she's been all alone too, huh? He should probably let big brother get back home, Vash thinks, so Tessla doesn't have to be scared. She's got her hiding spot in the eaves, but waiting there this whole time, listening for intruders... that's not fun.

He has to be brave for so many people. It's tiring!

Knives offers to demonstrate resurrections, and Vash shakes his head hard. No, he doesn't know any of those people and it isn't right to hurt somebody just to hurt them, even if they heal right away. Hurting somebody who hurt you -- and a threat to Nai is a threat to him too -- is a different story. Isn't it? ]

It's really okay to... to shoot him?

[ He hadn't been kidding about wanting to hurt the man for threatening Nai, but he'd honestly been thinking of, well... kicking him? Shouting at him? Scaring him with the gun even, but actually shooting him feels different. Bigger. He's not yet sure where his moral line about causing harm lies, and he doesn't want to admit it, but hurting somebody like that, planning to hurt somebody like that... it's making him a little uncomfortable.

But if it's to keep Nai safe, then... then he has to, doesn't he? ]

That'll keep him away from Nai forever if I do, right?

Ah, morals. That's harder.

[Knives leans back a little, brow furrowing. How to put this in a way that wouldn't be entirely colored by his own perspectives? Vash needed to build his own, after all.]

We create justice, what's right and wrong and so on. It's not part of the natural world, fairness is purely the invention of thinking creatures. But nature does teach us lessons, on what to avoid doing because it hurts or frightens us to do it, like touching a fire or letting a worm sting you. Pain and fear tell us 'don't do that!', both for humans and plants. It's up to you to decide if, to you, it is right to do to him what he's threatened to do to Nai. It might stop him from doing it again. Just stepping in front of Nai and not letting him get a clear shot might stop him too. You have many avenues open to you, you don't have to pick the bloodiest one. When the time comes, trust in your heart and what it tells you to do.

[He'd kill in a heartbeat, without hesitation. It's just another human, and a human that won't stay dead anyway, so why waste effort on de-escalation? But that wasn't in Vash's nature, even if of the two he had been the first to pull a weapon on a human.

Extenuating circumstances and all.]

[ No, he'll remember for the rest of his life how the knife felt in his hand, how easily it went into Rem's body, how quickly she crumpled over and fell unconscious. How much blood there was... and then, when he pulled the knife out, how much more blood. He hadn't thought there could be so much blood in a person.

Would Wolfwood bleed that much, if he got shot? Vash tries to push the memory of Rem's body out of his mind, tries to focus on Nai instead, how scared Nai had been when he'd finally told Vash what had happened, with his pale, blank face and deadpan voice, trying so hard not to show what he was feeling. How he'd tried to skip over so many details, tried to keep the worst of it secret, in part so Vash wouldn't worry, and in part because it was just too scary to talk about.

He can't quite get the image of her out of his head though, lying on the floor of the med bay, blood everywhere. He'd really thought he'd killed her. ]

Okay.

[ He won't be scared, he tells himself. He can stand between this Wolfwood and Nai, he can tell this Wolfwood to leave. And, if he has to, he can shoot him. For Nai. ]

I'll trust my heart.

[ He can do whatever it takes to keep his brother safe. He can. ]

I mean it. Don't do something just because you think I would, or some other Vash. You have good instincts, and Chapel's inclined towards you already. With some effort you could probably have him wrapped around your fingers. And then you could have your own pet human if you were so inclined.

[He is missing some fundamental information about how Wolfwood and Vash's relationship works, but in the end the result is the same. What he considers worship and loyalty being more akin to other, baser things didn't change how it turned out.]

But if it's all the same I'd suggest finding a much younger one if you want one of your own. They don't last long as it is, investing a lot of time and effort into an adult human means you only have a decade or two to enjoy having them around.

[Knives, humans aren't puppies.]

[ He's rather have a puppy, honestly. But wait, only a decade or two? ]

I thought they lived longer than that!

[ Don't humans all grow to be old in movies? Seventy, eighty years old, even? That's not old for a plant, but it's more than the forty that Knives is suggesting!

Rem's already almost thirty! ]

Rem lives a long time though, right?

A human's lifespan is very variable. In this desert, far away from things like regular doctors, vitamins and sunscreen, they're doing good if they make it to fifty. In ideal circumstances, a human can make it easily to a hundred. With exceptional circumstances, longer. But those circumstances require a lot of technology.

[It's hard to explain aging to someone who should never have to experience it. And Rem.. He looks around slowly, attempting to gague the technology level she has available.

Clearly Vash means this one.]

If you and Nai can convince her to relocate to a bigger city, she could well make it into her eighties without much difficulty. Out here, anything could happen. It's not safe for a lone normal human, not really, but with you two there to care for her, and make sure she eats according to proper human diets and gets medical care, I don't see why she couldn't last a long time by human terms.

[ He means every Rem, but this one is the only one he'll get to see grow old. Knives's words are a relief, and Vash sags back against his side, worry about Rem's impending death abated. ]

She's not scared of you, you know.

[ Knives had said before that he didn't want to come visit because Rem would be uncomfortable with a strange man in her house. That didn't sound right at the time, and Vash is certain by now that that's not the real reason Knives is avoiding her. Is it because it's too hard, too sad, to see somebody who died a long time ago? Because with how old big brother is, Rem, as a normal human, must have died ages ago. ]

I bet she'd like to see you.

[That's confirmation. Vash was worried about his current caregiver, maybe about the Rem back on some ship in space, not yet fallen to the ground. He couldn't blame him for it, at that age, wasn't he, too--

The thought is shaken off, because now the subject is his visiting, and he sighs.]

She might think she does. But humans react badly when they realize there's a predator lurking free in their home, really realize it. I'm not the boy she thinks of, and I haven't been for a very long time.

[Wasn't there supposed to be more honesty? Fewer secrets, fewer things to be used against him.]

And when I see her, I see someone else standing there, hear a different voice. I don't know that I won't treat her like she's someone else. Nobody deserves that, not even a human.

I understand.

[ Knives's Rem must have lived to be so old! She really would have been a different person from this Rem. She wouldn't see him as a predator though, that's silly. Knives is only scary when he's defending Tessla, or, or thinking about keeping Nai safe. He'd never hurt Rem, and she doesn't have any reason to be scared of him! ]

She's not my Rem either. And I love her! But... but sometimes she doesn't remember the same things I do, and that's... [ What's the word he wants? ] ...sad?

[ Lonely is really the word he wanted. Every time she doesn't remember things the same way he does, every time Nai doesn't remember things the same way he does, it's another reminder about what he's lost. About how alone he is.

But he's not really alone, and neither is Knives, not anymore! ]

But she's still a Rem, just like I'm a Vash, right? I'm not your brother, but I'm still your brother, and she's still Rem.

[He would, presumably, never physically hurt Rem. She wouldn't likely ever be a threat worthy of taking seriously to such a degree. In the end, she was a human, and one that refused to raise a weapon.

When he speaks again, his voice is quiet, but thoroughly controlled. No emotion bleeds in, through voice or mind.]

That's the problem, isn't it? If I assume she's like the Rem I knew, then I could never trust her with your care, or Nai's. I must believe she is different, and that you are safe here, and well protected.

[ That's not at all what he thought Knives would say. Vash leans back, to better see Knives's expression, since he's not getting anything over their connection. ]

Do you mean, because of Tessla?

[ Rem was part of her torture, after all. Not as big a part as the others, true, but... she was still there. She still helped, for awhile. ]

Among other things. But if you weren't already told, it's possible they don't know. It won't be pleasant to hear, but I will.. if you want, explain.

[A little bit of bleakness edges into his tone by degrees.]

We may not get along well anymore, if I do.

[ A thread of fear snakes along their connection. It's never easy to hear bad news, and knowing that the bad news is coming doesn't make it any easier to accept.

But there's no fear in Vash's face or his voice. ]

Tell me.

[A breath, slow. In, out.]

The Rem I knew is probably a lot like yours on the surface. She acted kind, gentle, won't lift a weapon to save herself or anyone else. Anyone else. And we loved her anyway, even though she didn't stop what they did to Tessla, and maybe even helped. Conrad protested too, and it did no good to anyone, even with two of them versus only a handful of scientists. But she assured us that somehow she'd protect us, even though with help last time she couldn't. And we believed her. I believed her. Enough to pack enough supplies and gear for three on the escape shuttle. I was so certain she meant it.

[Vash knows about the Fall already.]

But when the ships began to crash, she closed us in by ourselves and refused to come. I tried, she would not get onboard. What could I do? I was a child, I didn't yet have the power to make her get on. She chose to leave us, in order to save her own kind. She knew what our odds would be, out there alone by ourselves, and even though she swore she'd keep us safe, she decided humans were more important than us. I thought she'd change her mind, but she left us to die in the desert and stayed onboard the ship. It didn't survive entry into the atmosphere.

[The edge of bleakness doesn't disappear. Vash never forgave him. For the Fall, maybe, but Rem's death?

Never.

This Vash would not likely be any different. He'd said before his brothers have a reason for treating him how they do.]

I never found her. We looked, once we recovered from our own crash.

Edited (REDUNDANCIES) 2023-09-15 18:56 (UTC)

[ I was so certain she meant it, Knives says, and something in Vash's stomach twists, hard. He doesn't want Knives to keep going, but he needs Knives to keep going. He has to know.

He's crying by the time Knives finishes, tears pouring down his face, unable to accept what he's just heard. All the people -- well, most of the people -- in the ships died, he knows that. He's accepted that... but Rem? Rem died?

Rem died?

It's not true. It can't be true, she can't have died, he doesn't... he can't, it's too hot in here, he feels like he's choking, Rem died, he needs to get outside, there's no air in here! He pushes away from Knives, scrambling to his feet, running -- stumbling, mostly -- outside into the cool evening air. He trips, not far outside the door, and ends up in a ball in the dirt, crying so hard he can't breathe. ]

[This is precisely what he expects, and he doesn't move as Vash scrambles to his feet and runs, taking any hope of a different outcome with him. He'd known, even when they'd first met, that this is how it would end.

This is how it was. How it would always be, someone else's horror and grief singing a painful requiem in the back of his mind.

What good would lying have done, beyond prolong the inevitable? How much worse would it have been to find out from someone else? Not that it mattered, he understood that; the result was the same. Even if Rem's death had been unintended, he was squarely at fault for it, and that would be the only thing that mattered to his brothers.

Carefully, with experienced practice, Knives packs up his own emotions before they can burn hot trails down his face, before anything like weakness can slip free aside from a long, soft sigh. It takes some doing to steel himself for what must follow, to ensure that Vash's pain and fear remained thoroughly fixed on him and not his true twin or Nai. He's already the monster in the dreams of all his other kin. He can endure one more.

He can. He must. It's how it has to be, or someone innocent might be the target of that tangle of horror instead.

He rises smoothly, ignoring the protest of joints and age, and follows the sounds of misery; it didn't seem like the littlest of his brothers has gotten very far at all. Vash had always been clumsy in his grief. Another similarity, no matter the universe, and one he considers with a critical eye, forcefully detached from the emotion that should be there. He can't afford to allow himself to feel.

How did this go, before? It's been so long.

Knives crouches in the dust nearby, reaching one calloused hand.]

Vash. Vash.