Vash (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
celestialcrybaby) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
nomans_land2023-08-28 11:56 am
celestialcrybaby) wrote in nomans_land2023-08-28 11:56 am
Still In Octovern
Two days helping out at Signey's Cafe had turned into weeks, and after finding and then almost immediately losing that very tiny Nicholas, Vash had found himself unable to leave. The Plants were still under such tight security, he hadn't been able to get in to see them, and he had almost managed to figure out a way to get past the Feds to sneak back onto the Home ship so that he could let Melanie know about the small boy he knew she would want to look out for. But the heat was still too high, metaphorically, and he just hadn't been able to make headway in either plan, though at least Sig had let him start staying in the attic above the cafe instead of having to pay for the inn every night, once she'd found out he really didn't have much money to his name. Six of one, half dozen of the other, as the saying went.
That just made it easier to justify continuing to work at the cafe, where he could keep an eye on what was happening around the city, and where he could keep an eye out for the small boy with dark hair looking for his family. Sig had even caught on when she'd noticed him glancing constantly to the front window, and after a little prodding had gotten him to admit he was worried for the boy who'd been out front the first day he'd started working for her. She'd promised to keep an eye out, too, when she could, and he'd had to fight back a few tears of gratitude, which had simply gotten him a little motherly pat on the hand before she'd wandered back to the kitchen.
Things had almost seemed to...settle, for him. He had things to do every day, tasks to keep his mind off some of the darker places it tended to wander, especially as of late, a bed to sleep in and a more steady supply of food than he'd had since leaving the Home ship the first time with Wolfwood, and at least a little help with some of the mountain of important things that he was trying to do. So when the bell above the door chimed, he seemed, at least outwardly to most, in a fairly chipper mood.
"Good morning! Be right there!" he chirped, drying his hands off on the white apron he wore over his button down and slacks as he turned away from wiping down the register counter. It wasn't all that unlike the way he had been making ends meet in July, all things considered, before everything had gone south, only this time he was making more of an effort to avoid wearing his coat quite so often. That was distinctly a thought that he had worked very hard to supress the moment it occurred to him, a week after he'd settled into the attic upstairs.
[Specifically intended for Terran Fed Ship Shenanigans with the two eldest Vashes, but Open To All, if the mood strikes you! :D]
That just made it easier to justify continuing to work at the cafe, where he could keep an eye on what was happening around the city, and where he could keep an eye out for the small boy with dark hair looking for his family. Sig had even caught on when she'd noticed him glancing constantly to the front window, and after a little prodding had gotten him to admit he was worried for the boy who'd been out front the first day he'd started working for her. She'd promised to keep an eye out, too, when she could, and he'd had to fight back a few tears of gratitude, which had simply gotten him a little motherly pat on the hand before she'd wandered back to the kitchen.
Things had almost seemed to...settle, for him. He had things to do every day, tasks to keep his mind off some of the darker places it tended to wander, especially as of late, a bed to sleep in and a more steady supply of food than he'd had since leaving the Home ship the first time with Wolfwood, and at least a little help with some of the mountain of important things that he was trying to do. So when the bell above the door chimed, he seemed, at least outwardly to most, in a fairly chipper mood.
"Good morning! Be right there!" he chirped, drying his hands off on the white apron he wore over his button down and slacks as he turned away from wiping down the register counter. It wasn't all that unlike the way he had been making ends meet in July, all things considered, before everything had gone south, only this time he was making more of an effort to avoid wearing his coat quite so often. That was distinctly a thought that he had worked very hard to supress the moment it occurred to him, a week after he'd settled into the attic upstairs.
[Specifically intended for Terran Fed Ship Shenanigans with the two eldest Vashes, but Open To All, if the mood strikes you! :D]
no subject
You know the future me, he thought, but did not say out loud. You and Livio and Miss Melanie. And something bad happened to him. And that is why seeing me makes you cry.
Shit.
Nicholas stepped closer and just wrapped his arms around the black-haired man's neck, holding on.
"'salright. I got bumped back and forth a bit, even all the way back to December. But eventually Miss Melanie got dropped where I was, near here, too. I'm alright. Really."
... and suddenly he wasn't sure what to say further. How to reassure. The realization was like a yawning hole under his feet, and perhaps he was holding on for his own sake as much as Val's, for just a little.
no subject
Nicholas was worried about him. Nicholas was reaching out to try and comfort him, wanting to make him feel better, and it hit him like a ton of bricks all at once, even as he tried so hard to keep from letting how much it hurt show on the outside.
How? How could someone have taken this little boy and abused him the way they had? How could they have tried to beat this out of him until the man he became had felt himself undeserving of the same kindness and protection?
It made him so angry, it made him want to scream and cry and hurt the men who'd abused him and Livio and all of the other children they'd tried to warp into good little obedient soldiers, and he hated when he found himself wanting to lash out at other people. He was supposed to be better than that! But what made it worse was the little voice in the back of his head that told him he should be happy. Nicholas was safe, he would never have to go through what Wolfwood had suffered. He could live his life free and happy and never know what the Eye had wanted to do to him!
So why did it hurt so much?
He did his best to bite back the crying that had worried him, but his body still hiccupped gently with the tears, so he just held him a little tighter and put on the best attempt at a smile he could, even if it wasn't visible from the middle of the hold.
"You found Melanie, that's good! I'm so glad, December is so far away and with everyone here, it's not safe for anyone to try and make it that far all by themselves. She must have been so relieved to see you, I know she was worried when you went missing." He didn't even feel the least bit of shame for the little white lie. It was more of a half-truth, anyway. He hadn't talked to her after what happened, no, but it had been clear how much she cared about him, and how upset she had been.
He had no intentions of making him let go before he was ready, even if holding him close reminded him of carrying his body and laying him to rest, and made him realize that he'd never been able to hold him like this before, when he doubtlessly needed to be shown this kindness and care and they were both just too stubborn and stuck in their own heads to bridge that emotional gap for each other.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You deserved so much better.