Wolfwood drops to the floor beside Vash, wrapping his arms around him, and Vash returns the gesture, pulling Wolfwood in close until they’re chest to chest, as though holding Wolfwood tightly will somehow hold him together.
“I don’t know.” His voice is barely a whisper – he doesn’t trust it to remain steady if he speaks any louder. Hearing his own thoughts coming out of Wolfwood’s mouth is a terror he’d never imagined. What kind of comfort can he offer to something like that? Hey, me too, actually I was kinda hoping I’d die in Octovern and I’m disappointed that I’m still alive He can’t put that on Wolfwood. He owes this man so much, owes him answers, owes him happiness… but what does happiness even look like? “I don’t know. It’s not fair.”
It's not fair that Nico is missing. It’s not fair that Wolfwood feels guilt over that, not fair that Vash outside has to weigh hope and grief without any possibility of answers. It’s not fair that the Wolfwood in this world is gone, that the Vash here has to fight without any of the help brought for him. It’s not fair that he isn’t the man Wolfwood wants him to be, that he can’t make him any of the promises that he wants to. Vash’s hands tighten in the back of Wolfwood’s jacket, the material complaining under the strain. It’s not fair that Nai had to be frightened by this man. It’s not fair he can’t control himself, that he forced this good man to see such horrible things. It’s not fair that they’re on Noman’s at all.
It’s not fair to keep asking him to be strong. He’s not strong.
I was going to take his place. God. If swapping places with a corpse was all it took to bring the dead back then Vash would have been dust and bones long ago. But this isn’t about him, he mentally chides himself, forcing his breath steady and slow. The hand fisted in the back of Wolfwood’s jacket releases with a painful twitch, and he lays that hand gentle on the back of Wolfwood’s head.
“But you keep going.” That’s not a comfort, that’s a curse, and he knows it, but what other options are there? Die? Give up? Never. “You… you find something that matters, and you give yourself to it.” What that looks like has to be up to Wolfwood, just like Vash had to find his own path forward. “You stay alive, and you find some way to do good for somebody, and every day you get up, and you keep going.” And it will hurt the whole time, he knows. He knows. “That’s what I do. That's all I know how to do."
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Wolfwood drops to the floor beside Vash, wrapping his arms around him, and Vash returns the gesture, pulling Wolfwood in close until they’re chest to chest, as though holding Wolfwood tightly will somehow hold him together.
“I don’t know.” His voice is barely a whisper – he doesn’t trust it to remain steady if he speaks any louder. Hearing his own thoughts coming out of Wolfwood’s mouth is a terror he’d never imagined. What kind of comfort can he offer to something like that? Hey, me too, actually I was kinda hoping I’d die in Octovern and I’m disappointed that I’m still alive He can’t put that on Wolfwood. He owes this man so much, owes him answers, owes him happiness… but what does happiness even look like? “I don’t know. It’s not fair.”
It's not fair that Nico is missing. It’s not fair that Wolfwood feels guilt over that, not fair that Vash outside has to weigh hope and grief without any possibility of answers. It’s not fair that the Wolfwood in this world is gone, that the Vash here has to fight without any of the help brought for him. It’s not fair that he isn’t the man Wolfwood wants him to be, that he can’t make him any of the promises that he wants to. Vash’s hands tighten in the back of Wolfwood’s jacket, the material complaining under the strain. It’s not fair that Nai had to be frightened by this man. It’s not fair he can’t control himself, that he forced this good man to see such horrible things. It’s not fair that they’re on Noman’s at all.
It’s not fair to keep asking him to be strong. He’s not strong.
I was going to take his place. God. If swapping places with a corpse was all it took to bring the dead back then Vash would have been dust and bones long ago. But this isn’t about him, he mentally chides himself, forcing his breath steady and slow. The hand fisted in the back of Wolfwood’s jacket releases with a painful twitch, and he lays that hand gentle on the back of Wolfwood’s head.
“But you keep going.” That’s not a comfort, that’s a curse, and he knows it, but what other options are there? Die? Give up? Never. “You… you find something that matters, and you give yourself to it.” What that looks like has to be up to Wolfwood, just like Vash had to find his own path forward. “You stay alive, and you find some way to do good for somebody, and every day you get up, and you keep going.” And it will hurt the whole time, he knows. He knows. “That’s what I do. That's all I know how to do."