nomans_land | Tragic Ends VS Bad Ends, Trigun Flavor

Tragic Ends VS Bad Ends, Trigun Flavor

CW: mildly Plantcesty bc of canon end events but mostly toxicity, mindfuck, extreme codependency and.... co-parenting?

Somewhere in the sands is a tall person traveling on bare feet, a cloak of galaxies and roots covering their face from the sun. Vash moves slowly, not because he's tired or struggling, but because he's not really in a hurry. He doesn't get tired anymore, or hungry. Just weak, sometimes, but he's always been weak, hasn't he? That's why his brother has to protect him.

So this place couldn't be bad, because Knives would never leave him somewhere bad.

He stops briefly to collect a bleached skull left in the sand, picking it up with the roots and wisps of shadow and then holding it with the curiosity of a detached scholar rather than a compassionate man. Human, by the looks of it. Not killed by one of their brood, just unlucky in the desert.

Shrugging, Vash lets it drop into the sand again like an unwanted piece of trash and lets all those roots and glimmering energy unfold around him. He makes a little seat for himself, black flowers with shiny blue specks acting as cushions as the rest of his cloak peels away for a canopy. The dark undersuit is an echo of his brother, including the sturdiness of four perfectly fine limbs.

No memories were left, physical or otherwise. Sometimes you just have to remake your little brother to make him understand your point of view, and Vash... doesn't really know any better, anymore. It's fine, all he needs to focus on is making new Independents.

The roots continue to stretch over the sand, slithering over the area to see if they can pick up anything other than old bones of a doomed race.

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Oi oi oi!

[ He better not have heard that right! ]

You're not trying to take the blame for that thing we just fought, are you?

[ That wasn't another Vash. That thing wasn't a person anymore, and he'll stand by that point forever. ]

I know you think everything is your responsibility, and let me tell you, it pisses me right the fuck off! But that guy? You had nothing to do with what happened to him!

He's still me. Under all of what was done to him, he's still there. And he failed to fight it.

[ Vash lowers his eyes until all he can see are his own knees. ]

It... I don't 'think' it's my fault. I know it is. I was an accomplice. Or, to be precise, if I hadn't given an access code to Nai, the Crash never would have happened. You are all stuck here, in this world, so, so many died. Because of me. So how am I supposed to not know it?

[ For a moment, he just breathes. ]

I don't have anything to do with what that was. I just have the potential to become him. So it's my responsibility not to. Right?

[ He failed to fight it? Nai decided to kill everyone because of what was done to the other plant, and it’s somehow Vash’s fault?

He can’t hear any more of this shit.

Vash’s head is down, which puts him in the perfect position. Wolfwood reaches over without so much as a word of warning and slaps Blondie upside the head, hard. ]

Wrong, on every fucking count!

[ Oh, he’s seething. He’s keeping his eyes on the road – there’s nothing out there for miles, but after today’s excitement he’s playing it cautious – but he doesn’t need to be looking at Vash to be glaring daggers at him. ]

If you try to say that guy’s to blame for what was done to him I’m gonna drag you out of this car and kick your ass until your fucking brother feels it!

[ Getting broken by torture didn’t make you weak! Being tricked by somebody you trusted didn’t make you complicit! Was this really the way his brain’s been working all this time? ]

Wh--

[ Vash's forehead doesn't quite bounce off the dashboard but it's a near thing and he stares at Wolfwood in confusion. Yes, that's exactly how he's been operating for 150 years when it comes to himself.

Only himself.

When Wolfwood makes him think of the other him, though, the falacy of victim blaming becomes rather obvious, and he flushes with guilt and, well, yet another failure.

It takes a long moment before he says anything, and his voice sounds composed and yet sadder somehow. ]

What I am saying is that... If he somehow came to himself, he would consider himself to blame. But no. I don't consider him so.

[ That's a little better, but it's still not the answer he wants to hear. He gives Vash a second, then replies, his voice quieter but no less furious for the lack of volume. ]

Would he say that Rollo kid was to blame for not fighting hard enough?

No. You said it yourself. I made bigger promises than I could deliver on.

[ aand more deflating. The grief for what happened to Rollo is still very fresh. And, of note, empty of any anger at Wolfwood by this point.

The only one he can't forgive anything is himself. ]

He was just a child.

[ He huffs at the reminder of his own words. He was right then, and he still stands by what he said, but there wasn't any kindness in the comment at all, was there? ]

How come you can remember me saying shit like that to you, but when I tell you something's not your fault, it doesn't stick?

[ kindness is not something Vash expects, so he doesn't even register anything wrong with the words. ]

Ah? Well it was the truth, and... you know there is only so much I can find excuses for myself for, right?

[ Vash, you aren't even trying to look for any. ]

That reward for capturing me didn't just spring up on someone innocent!

You mean, the reward that somebody put on your head because your identical twin brother was stealing plants, and you got blamed for it?

[ Roberto might be an old drunk, but the man's got a mind like a steel trap... the kind of steel trap that could be pried open with enough alcohol. ]

Is that the reward you're talking about?

Ahahha well yes. But the disasters that follow me, the ones that get wherever I go damaged at best... Why I was called the humanoid typhoon...

Those are still real.

But I've never stolen plants! Just helped them.

[ Nope, says this wave of his hand, he doesn't want to hear it! ]

The disaster that follows you has a name, from what I've seen. [ It's not just Knives that shows up and causes chaos when Vash tries to do good, Wolfwood knows this. It's just pretty damn clear that's who's responsible for most of Vash's misery, and he doesn't get why Vash can't see that. ] I'm just gonna keep saying it, idiot! You aren't responsible for shit other people do, even if they're your brother.

[ that makes Vash unhunch enough to turn and just stare at him.

Then. ]

By that count, whatever happens to me in Julai isn't your fault, either.

[ And that makes Wolfwood slam on the brakes. ]

That's different.

[ Don't you fucking dare try to turn this around onto him! ]

We're talkin' about you right now.

[ Vash actually expected something like that break slam, and his eyes crinkle for the first time in a while. ]

We are, but I needed to point out. Any damage was done by Knives. Even if you helped, it was neither your intent nor your action that did that harm. If I can't take some of those things because he did them, you can't take this one.

It's not easy, is it?

[ That not quite smile is a win, but he's not counting wins right now. ]

It's easy as hell, actually! Because you're trying to help people when things go to shit, and I'm trying to kill them.

[ And yes, the implication there is that he knew what was coming in Julai. He might not have known the details, but there was no way that Knives had anything good planned for the brother he'd been hunting for decades. Breaking him into the thing they just saw, just outright killing him, did it really matter? It wasn't going to end well, and Wolfwood knew it. ]

Don't fucking compare yourself to me like that. We're nothing alike.

[ aaand the small smile promptly dies, the hunch returning.

If Wolfwood doesn't want to let him feel that tiny bit of connection that has brought him joy, then he will cut himself from it. ]

Whatever my intentions, they still die and I still live. But, I understand. I'm sorry.

[ It hurts, watching Blondie fold back into himself. It hurts more than he thinks it should, but it's for the best. Wolfwood opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but thinks better of it, and just turns back to the wheel, hitting the accelerator and moving them again towards July, and Blondie's family.

He's not a good person, and it's high time Stampede learned that. ]

Stop apologizing. You've got nothing to apologize for.

[ there is no 'not good person' in Vash's world. And there are only two monsters, and he can't help, even after all, loving one of them.

The smile he gives now in different, more like his usual one with his eyes wide and focused. ]

For presuming! That's all.

[ His regular stupid "I'm just a loveable dumbass" grin? Yeah, Wolfwood's seen it, and he's not impressed. It makes him look every bit as blank as that mindwiped Vash they just met, and the thought sends a shiver down Wolfwood's spine. ]

Tell me about gates.

[ New topic, then, something safer than the last one. ]

Pretend I know fuck-all about how plants work, okay?

Right. My information might be incomplete, since I got most of it before and around when I was a year old and at that time we thought I didn't have one, so keep that in mind.

On the whole, plants have these Gates which open to a different dimension. Rather than generating gravity or water or what have you, they kind of just bring it over from there. I think... keeping one's gate open is what exhausts plants, this is more a guess than anything else.

For the bulbed plants, the composition of substance and energy determines what comes out of the Gate and when. For Independents, it seems more limited and more on purpose.

And then there is me, and mine just works the other way around. I, um. Lost my arm so I didn't lose my life when it first opened, so I was very wary. No. Afraid. I was afraid of experimenting more with it. Knives, on the other hand, has worked on his as long as we've been alive. It's why I've been practicing with mine, once I got direction.

[ When he was a year old? Wolfwood's eyes go wide, and he adds that tidbit to the list of things he knows about plants: they age really differently than humans do!

All he knows about how plants work is that they somehow make everything. The idea that they tap into another dimension is weird as hell, but not as weird as it would have been before he was brought here. It's hard to argue against the existence of alternate dimensions when you're in one, you know?

Wolfwood's hands tighten on the wheel when Vash talks about losing his arm. Sure he's been curious how it happened, but he'd just assumed that it was one time when flipping around the room and laughing about keeping everyone alive backfired. But he'd been trying to reach into another dimension with it? ]

Wait, hold up. If the other plants take energy from some other dimension, and yours works the other way around, does that mean you were sending energy somewhere else?

[ He doesn't have a good image of what "sending energy" looks like -- the best he can picture is electricity zapping into a hole in the world, or maybe, like, wind? Some folks use turbines to generate power, right? So maybe it's like wind? ]

Some place like here?

[ A year old. That's how old Nai is. That's how old Vash was when the Crash happened. But of course he is not thinking of his age in terms of trauma... just in terms of not providing as thorough information as he might be able to if he'd have access to the research on ship Five (not the Tessla data!), or even Conrad, later on.

And, well. It's not that Vash was trying to open a Gate, he was kind of upset and it kind of happened. He can clarify later on. Or others can clarify for him, that's also possible at this point... ]

Well, the first thing that went through it was my arm, I guess? The last thing were tips of the other me's roots... And... I have absolutely no idea what the other place looks like. [ He chews on his lip slightly. ] If you stop the car, I can show you. I don't think my control is great enough to risk demonstration on a moving car.

Emergencies... I'd go for, on the other hand.

Yeah I want to see it, are you serious?

[ He's not slowing the car down yet, though. ]

But if it took your arm off, is this something you can control? You're not gonna lose the other one showin' off for me, right?

[ He's got powers that took his damn arm. And the other one, the broken one, he was covered in roots just like what happened in Julai. Plants are so weird. ]

Because I don't need to see that badly.

Ahaha... I am working on the control thing. Like I said... after that, I was pretty frightened to try anythig.

[ For a moment, Vash leans back, closes his eyes. ]

It was... the first time I saw Nai after the Crash. It had been... years and years. And he was angry. There were plants that were dying, and people who were still... trying to figure out how to survive were about to use their dying energy. So he killed, and killed. And... Luida showed up, and he wanted me to kill her, and I got upset. And that's when my gate opened. In the middle of my palm. It started sucking everything and everyone in, and I had no idea what to do about it.

So Nai... cut it off. And the Gate just swallowed it.

[ ... see, he was afraid to experiment, after that.

But to face Nai and not... let everyone down, he has to learn control. He must. ]

It's nothing like that, now. I keep it very, very tightly controlled.

[ Wolfwood doesn't say anything after that. What could he possibly say? Vash's brother cut off his arm -- to save his life, from the sound of things, but still. It wasn't an accident, he didn't get it caught somewhere... Knives just cut it off.

He wants to ask how old he was when that happened. He really really doesn't want to know how old he was when that happened. ]

It's okay. [ He keeps his eyes on the road, chewing on what's left of his thumbnail -- it's been pretty well gnawed down, at this point. ] Let's just keep goin'. I don't need to see a gate that badly.

[ If something went wrong...? That can't be his fault, not for a silly little show and tell. ]

Edited 2023-06-18 01:14 (UTC)

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