nomans_land | Geranium

Geranium

[ A small podunk town outside of Lost July now houses a small science station, cobbled together by pieces from an escape pod. Rem has been busy cataloguing everything she's managed to put together about both NoMan's Land and this glitch in it so far. Her data pad is overfilled with information, including some pre-downloaded survival tips for hot climates.

It means she's not longer horribly sunburnt, at least.

A radio dish and a messy attempt at a solar panel has been somewhat haphazardly attached to the roof of the house she's taken over, but there hasn't been enough parts to finish them so neither of them have been working right so far. The radio sends signals, but the receiver doesn't work. She keeps trying, though, and the adult Vash she met had been helping her set everything up so that she could live there.

Right now she can be found outside of the house, shaking out blankets and hanging them over a line. Vash had left to find more provisions, and she wanted the other bedroom to be clean when he came back. It's very domestic, and she's singing softly to herself. ]

Sooo... on the first celestial evening, a pebble from somewhere out of nowhere drops upon the dreaming world~♪

[ Rem has held it together fairly well so far, but she can't deny the nightmares and the rush of grief that falls over her in the times she's alone in the house, scarred to the bone by the catastrophe she barely escaped. All the dead in the crash, and all the suffering on this planet. ]

Sooo... on the second celestial evening, all the children of the pebble held hands and composed a waltz~♪

[ Rem shakes out another blanket - a smaller one this time, perfectly sized for a child. She needs to get that radio working so that she can try to contact other settlements and see if anyone has seen small versions of her twins. While she met an adult Vash, she's worried that this timeline mess also means that her little twins are around. ]

Sooo... on the third celestial evening, the children's waltz spawned rippling waves across the waking world~♪

[ Then there was Nai. She still hasn't found him, not even an adult version, and she's not stupid - she knows what he did now, but he's her boy, and she needs to know more. She needs to understand why, and she's not ready to hear that something happened to him. She can barely stand the well-hidden (but still obvious to her) sadness in Vash's eyes. ]

Sooo... on the fourth celestial evening, the waves showered the ground upon which every child wandered~♪

[ She shakes out clothes this time, her ship uniform changed to some salvaged clothes and a hooded cloak that protects her from the sun. ]

Sooo... on the fifth celestial evening, the showers on the earth became its beacon of existence~♪

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[ ... there is an actual flinch, even though he does not loosen his hold, at that last statement, but the words that come, after a moment, are, ] he won't hurt them. And it will be good for her not to be in isolation. Or alone with him, too.

[ While, at the same time, bringing human kids to her would be a bad idea on several levels.

He is still for a long moment, just taking in comfort, but because it gets too awkward he loosens his hold, and gives a small smile, tilting his head to suggest that they sit down. Letting go is not something he wants to do, especially since it means she'll look at him while he tries to put into words what he needs to warn her about, but ...

A soft sigh as they settle, and he closes his eyes, chin dropping down, and the smile also. ]

There is... a Vash who has been brought here, who has been... changed. His memories were taken away, so he is ... dangerous. If you ever see one with dark roots writing about him, please don't try to talk to him, but instead stay out of his way. He really does not know who you are. Or even who Tessla is. He doesn't care if he kills, either, and sees humans as vermin. He should be settled somewhere that he won't be a danger to those around him, but you already know that this place can have different ideas about where people show up.

[ The tries to soothe him softly when he flinches, but Rem is glad that he at least knows about Tessla being with Knives. She doesn't need to drop that bomb on her already struggling child. ] I know. I'm happy the little ones can go play with her... like it should have been. I think it will do Na...Knives good, too.

[ She doesn't mind if he wants to hold her for the rest of the day, remembering how Nai had clung to her until she put herself and him in a bed and held him all night. That was the little boy, though, and this is her lovely grown man.

Rem lets him pull away, though, and sits down with him - but keeps the flesh hand in her own, gently rubbing the knuckles there as he speaks. Of course it's new horror, new problems and she's not sure what to think about a Vash that doesn't know her, doesn't know Tessla... who doesn't care if he kills. Even without memories, why would he be like that?

Vermin. Her boys, who were so hopeful and eager about humanity. ]

I... okay. Is he... is he okay? I mean... god. Is he safe? What happened?

It...

[ Vash looks down, and holds on to her hand. ]

There is a city that was brought in, a city full of independents. They agreed to take him in, and he should be well cared-for there. Safe. And people there should be in no danger from him, nor for him. Whether he is okay... I don't know. I would not be okay in his place, but I can't ... know about him.

[ He bites his lip for a moment. ]

You... really won't like the details. But you don't have to hear them. It was... not good, but knowing whom to run from, that should be enough to try to stay safe?

[ Everyone has their limits, and Rem has had to deal with. Far, far too much already. It is her choice, but he would rather give her the choice. ]

[ The idea of running from one of her boys feels ridiculous, especially if they might be hurting, but she can tell that this is something really bad. Vash doesn't even want to share the details, which makes her heart hurt.

It was bad, she can tell. He seems so tired. ]

Alright, you know I trust you. I won't ask, especially since it sounds like he's okay with the other plants.

[ Rem gives Vash's hand a squeeze. ] How are you holding up, sweetheart?

[ And Vash squeezes her hand back, but also takes a long moment to answer. ]

It...

Remember... how upset Wolfwood was, about what he thought he saw in July. I think ... that Vash. [ A hard swallow. ] That's worse than if Wolfwood were right.

And I might still - I might still become him.

[ It is not often that Vash is actually afraid. Fear is horrible, he's come to realize, and makes people do bad things to each other.

But this. Who he is being taken from him, so he can be a tool to hurt people?

This terrifies him. Even more so knowing the horrible pain the Vash underneath it all is in, screams still echoing in his ears.

So, on the whole, not doing okay at all. And that is even without touching the fact that it was Nai who did this to him, Nai who wants him gone so completely. Or watching Wolfwood die. ]

I'll need... some time to ... come to terms with it. [ Quietly, and carefully not flatly ] I don't like being afraid.

[ It's a lot Rem doesn't know here, but she can tell that her boy is scared. Nicholas had been so upset about possibly having led Vash to his death, and somehow this was worse? It makes her heart ache, and she shakes her head when he says he might become him. ]

Hey... you're not going to become him, Vash. If you know what happened to this version of yourself, you can change it, can't you? Your ticket to the future is still blank.

[ She gently strokes his hair back and then places a small kiss on his forehead. ] Nobody likes being afraid. You're not alone, though... you have me, Nai and all your friends and other selves. It's okay to lean on us.

[ There is a ... pause. But then his lips tug up in a smile, his eyes warm if very, very tired and old enough to show his age. ]

Thanks, Rem. I'll... try. It's just ... unexpectedly ... difficult, to think that who I am is hated so much that erasing me from me...

[ Small shrug. She can understand, he thinks. And, if not, that's probably better for her. ]

[ That little smile is precious, even if exhausted, and she treasures it. ]

You being you is the point of Vash. I can't imagine how removing that is good for anyone. [ She sighs and gives his cheek a little pat. ] The Vash part of Vash is what we love. All of us.

[ Rem honestly wonders if returning to their own timelines and realities is even a thing that can happen after they were all displaced here. If it isn't, then her boy doesn't really have to worry about anything, does he? ]

You know I'm proud of you, right?

[ But it was good for Nai. It was what Nai wanted of him. A husk. Not... not himself. Someone who would do unto others what they did to Tessla, because he could. Because they both could--

It hurts, but the last thing to do right now is to break Rem also. So his smile wavers, but then steadies, only his left arm coming across his abdomen even while the right hand holds on to Rem, and the smile becomes less strained when told that he is still loved. And in all fairness, he remembers holding little Nai's hand, and healing it, and then holding it as they returned to the house. He knows she means it, a sliver of warmth in the sharp, merciless spikes twisting in his gut. So he learns into that pat. ]

Thanks. And... nobody can take you away from me. In my heart. I promise.

[ This is safe, he thinks. A safe way to turn the fear into determination. Even if it is still so bad. But he can't... he can't let fear decide for him. Not like it does for--

So many other.s ]

Nobody can take me away from you, that's right. I'll always be right here.

[ She reaches out and puts her hand over his heart. If she feels any unevenness from all the scars... well, she doesn't seem to react. ]

You are so loved, honey. If there's worlds or realities where that is somehow not true, then they're just shadows of the real ones. I'm sorry you had to meet this version of you, but it doesn't have a say in your future.

[ Rem loves her boys so much, but it is so heavy sometimes, and she feels like Sisyphus, pushing the stone of love and compassion only to have it roll back again next time her children suffers horrors. All she can do is fold up her sleeves and push again. ]

[ In all fairness, he has enough clothes that the scars are unlikely to be easily felt. Even the net over his heart, though... that might possibly be discernible, as being harder than scar tissue.

His breath does hitch, though the smile remains steady, and he reaches with the hand not holding hers, artificial though it may be, to press lightly the back of her palm. ]

Rem, I... I don't know if any of us says it enough. But you are amazing. And it is a blessing to have you in our lives.

[ It's an odd urge, but he goes with it, raising her hand and dipping his face so he can kiss the tip of her fingers, gratefully, before settling her palm right where it was. ]

Thank you.

[ He is far too shattered right now, for her words to take root. But he hears them. And appreciates them. ]

[ It's so sweet, the way he puts his hand over hers, and then gives her fingers a few kisses. Rem laughs, so very fondly, and tries to meet his gaze. A lot of her boys seemed to have problems looking her in the eyes, after all. ]

I love you, Vash. Being a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me.

[ It saved her from going down a dark path and every day she saw her boys it made her life feel like it had purpose. Right now it's difficult, it's wearing her down to see the pain in her children, but she doesn't regret making the choice she did. ]

[ Oh, no, this Vash is too keenly aware of how long he hasn't been able to look at her, and if he can help it (sometimes he can't), he doesn't tear his eyes from her. So yes, he meets her eyes, even though he knows he won't be able to hide the exhaustion and upset that exist, beside the affection and joy to hear her laugh. And oh, is it good to hear that, as though for a moment, even with everything, all is right in the world, and it will be all right.

His eyes crinkle at the edges. ]

I love you, too, Rem. So much!

[ He is aware that he is more of a burden than anything else, but he tries. He tries, and he tries, and he will keep trying. To take just a little of the pain. To let her breathe a little easier. And he knows he will fail, he knows far too well, but that laugh. That laugh gives him hope. ]

[ Children are not burdens. He never will be, no matter how much his sadness hurts her, because it isn't his fault. A lot of things are not his fault.

...so seeing his eyes scrunch up like that in a true smile makes Rem's heart soar with happiness - and so does his words. Laughing happily, she wraps her warms around her boy and hugs him, raining kisses down his forehead and cheeks. ]

My Vash. You're such a good boy.

[ He... will need a lot of repetition of that before he comes to even register it as not a platitude, and even more before he actually believes it, but he's here, and that's a start, right?

The hug and kisses make him blink, even as he wraps his arms around her waist back, and then give a watery little giggle. ]

Best. Mom. Ever!

[ She'll remind him again and again, for the rest of her life if she has to. He is a good man and she loves him - she loves both of her boys.

That giggle shakes loose one of her own, and then they're giggling together. ]

A very silly, doting mom.

[ It feels good, the laugh, even as shaky as his is. Even if he feels guilty about laughing while the other him is stuck as being something he is not. But he can't help it, and ... he isn't trying to stop it, anyway.

This is a gift to Rem, and she deserves all the gifts. He's not taking it away. ]

Mm... Not sure why you'd be silly, but doting sounds about right.

You two would have been the most spoiled children in the universe, and you know it.

[ She laughs again, feeling so, so much better when able to joke and giggle with at least one of her boys. A wonderful gift for a haggard mother with all the sorrow of her sons on her shoulders. ]

Let's have some tea and talk about happy things. Do you remember me telling you about mine and Alex's first date?

Edited 2023-07-21 19:41 (UTC)

... all right, maybe we would have been a little spoiled...

[ It sounds like it would have been so nice, compared to reality, that his stomach turns. It does feel better, though, her joy. Always, the only way to feel less pain is to take away the pain of someone else. Only, right now, everything is so much--

But he can smile, and he can laugh for her. With her. ]

Tea sounds good. And, hmm, was the first one the one where you went looking for cake together?

[ ... he remembers everything, but pointing out that he's been turning every moment of the year they had in his mind until it was worn out but still clear would make this sad, so. Going with not quite correct recollection, possibly. ]

[ She places a kiss on his forehead again and then gets up so that they can make tea. ]

No, that was the first anniversary! [ Rem says with a warm laugh, slowly heading for the kitchen. ] The first date we went to the extinct animal museum and talked for hours about how we wanted to make sure it never happened again.

[ It makes her heart hurt, but in a good way. Good memories. ]

We talked for so long that security had to force us to leave!

[ It's good. It's so good to hear her laugh, easier now, and he follows without hesitation, helping without needing to be told what.

He hums a little chuckle of his own, also. ]

It sounds an amazing first date. Amazing time to spend with anyone, really. [ Remembering... doesn't mean he's allowed to think about it, his mind keeping to how it had been when he was one, and not considering how good just talking with someone for hours would be. Someone of one mind with you, or close enough. ]

Rem... I don't think I've asked, but what was he like? Alex?

[ Stories are one thing. Amazing, and always welcome. But her impressions of the man she loved so much, now that he's been missing her for so long, now that he thinks she might be taken away again without any notice - her opinions matter so much to him. Even about someone long lost. ]

[ She turns on the stove and puts on the water, then leans against the wall as they talk. ]

...he was really passionate. About all things, including our dating, but also very much the Earth and people. He wanted to make a change in the world, but it wasn't easy for two young people like us to find a foot in to making changes that actually mattered. Most of the Earth was already dead or dying from our mistakes because previous generations didn't listen.

[ Rem smiles as she remembers. She can still see his face when he talks animatedly about something, the smile that could light up a whole room. ]

His hair was kind of spiky like some of the other Vashes here, and I teased him a lot about that. Alex had a great sense of humor, and that helped me through some dark times after my parents passed.

[ Oh... Vash could prop his chin on his hand and watch her and listen to her for hours, even when the memories are not only happy. They do make her happy, even as mixed as, well, anything in life, as far as he knows, is.

Though his eyes do darken slightly. ]

It's hard to bring about any change at all, when everyone is frightened. And I'm sure people were very frightened when faced with that.

But you tried, and you brought along the hope for better, for both of you, beyond that the reach of that fear. [ ...sure, there ended up other fears, but that doesn't mean that the hope isn't there, too. ]

He must have been really wonderful.

[ Worthy of Rem.

And that, for Vash, is possibly the highest praise. ]

[ Life is full of ups and downs. If her parents had not passed, she would not have the sweet moments with Alex. If he had not passed, she would not have joined the SEEDS project and met her boys. ]

It was a really dark time, but the SEEDS projects gave a lot of people hope, even when it was still just a concept. We were able to be part of giving that hope to people, and I would have done it again and again if I could.

[ She smiles again, eyes full of love and pain at the same time. ]

I knew that when he was gone, I wouldn't love like that again, because he was... he was my other half. However, I found a new kind of love in you two. I got to be a mother, and I got to raise two amazing boys.

[ For a short time, but still the best time. ]

Even when you both were a handful! Nai was always climbing into your crib and I couldn't see him on the baby monitor any more, and you had a whole week of non-stop crying until I finally figured out you couldn't handle the formula I was giving you.

[ It didn't matter too much, two weeks later Vash was eating baby food. They grew up so quick. ]

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Geranium

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