He holds on to Wolfwood as long as he can, but he knew going into this talk how things were going to end. No matter what was said, no matter how much he might want to keep holding on, at the end of it all he can't trust Wolfwood around Nai. He doesn't know exactly what happened between them, but he has a pretty good idea – Wolfwood was frightened, and Nai was almost hurt because of that fear.
He'll trust Wolfwood at his back any time, under any conditions, but he cannot put Nai in danger. He cannot risk the repercussions Wolfwood would face if he harmed the boy. To keep them both safe, he has to keep them apart. And he knew that this would hurt Wolfwood, his closest friend, the man he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He knew going in that this talk would be a knife in Wolfwood's back, and so when the other man pulls away, when he puts his hands between them to keep Vash back, Vash doesn't fight it.
And he expects the apology, because Wolfwood is a good man, and he expects the self-recriminating language, too, because Wolfwood has been hurt too often. What can he say, to get Wolfwood to not talk about himself like he's underserving? I love you so much I think I might die from it but sorry, I can't trust you with my brother's safety? Wolfwood's already crying again – and so is Vash, by this point – so why drag things out even further? Nothing he says could make this any better, there's nothing he can give this man to ease any of this hurt. For one second, just one brief moment Vash lets himself resent his obligations – not Nai, no, but Knives, for showing him where he was needed. Rem, for putting her house next to the site of a tragedy that would draw his other selves in but not allow them to stay. Himself, for not having seen the changes in Knives all those years ago, for having tallied such a debt over the years that he couldn't say no to its repayment. For letting himself get attached when he knew it was a bad idea.
He's tried for years to keep that distance between himself and the rest of the people on the planet, to avoid anything more than the occasional drunken kiss, or lingering look – he couldn't stay, and they always aged so quickly. But then this one was dropped right in his lap -- another resentment tally in Knives's book -- and god, he wants to keep him! With Wolfwood he's not a monster, or a brother, with all the obligation and pain tied to that word. He's not a job, not anymore. He thought, maybe... maybe this time...
He's so lost in his own mess that he has to have misheard what Wolfwood said last, though. He's lost the right to hold this man, but hands on the shoulders of a distraught friend should be okay, shouldn't they?
“What do you mean, leave? Where are you going?” Wolfwood had said just a few minutes back that he was going to stay with the Vash outside, that they were going to keep looking for the other Wolfwood. And sure, he'd been worried than once they found that other Wolfwood that he wouldn't be welcome to travel with them anymore – which Vash thinks is nonsense, personally, but he doesn't get to have an opinion about that – but that Wolfwood wasn't at the orphanage. He might still be out there. They have to keep looking! “You're going to go with Vash, to find Nico. Aren't you?”
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He'll trust Wolfwood at his back any time, under any conditions, but he cannot put Nai in danger. He cannot risk the repercussions Wolfwood would face if he harmed the boy. To keep them both safe, he has to keep them apart. And he knew that this would hurt Wolfwood, his closest friend, the man he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He knew going in that this talk would be a knife in Wolfwood's back, and so when the other man pulls away, when he puts his hands between them to keep Vash back, Vash doesn't fight it.
And he expects the apology, because Wolfwood is a good man, and he expects the self-recriminating language, too, because Wolfwood has been hurt too often. What can he say, to get Wolfwood to not talk about himself like he's underserving? I love you so much I think I might die from it but sorry, I can't trust you with my brother's safety? Wolfwood's already crying again – and so is Vash, by this point – so why drag things out even further? Nothing he says could make this any better, there's nothing he can give this man to ease any of this hurt. For one second, just one brief moment Vash lets himself resent his obligations – not Nai, no, but Knives, for showing him where he was needed. Rem, for putting her house next to the site of a tragedy that would draw his other selves in but not allow them to stay. Himself, for not having seen the changes in Knives all those years ago, for having tallied such a debt over the years that he couldn't say no to its repayment. For letting himself get attached when he knew it was a bad idea.
He's tried for years to keep that distance between himself and the rest of the people on the planet, to avoid anything more than the occasional drunken kiss, or lingering look – he couldn't stay, and they always aged so quickly. But then this one was dropped right in his lap -- another resentment tally in Knives's book -- and god, he wants to keep him! With Wolfwood he's not a monster, or a brother, with all the obligation and pain tied to that word. He's not a job, not anymore. He thought, maybe... maybe this time...
He's so lost in his own mess that he has to have misheard what Wolfwood said last, though. He's lost the right to hold this man, but hands on the shoulders of a distraught friend should be okay, shouldn't they?
“What do you mean, leave? Where are you going?” Wolfwood had said just a few minutes back that he was going to stay with the Vash outside, that they were going to keep looking for the other Wolfwood. And sure, he'd been worried than once they found that other Wolfwood that he wouldn't be welcome to travel with them anymore – which Vash thinks is nonsense, personally, but he doesn't get to have an opinion about that – but that Wolfwood wasn't at the orphanage. He might still be out there. They have to keep looking! “You're going to go with Vash, to find Nico. Aren't you?”