[There are days Vash agrees with those sentiments, even if he never voices them. He shook his head, a sad little moue on his face when he glanced over for just a moment in Wolfwood's direction.]
Believe it or not, sometimes I wish that were the case. But I can't be the one to pull the trigger. I've seen...[Been]...children. Driven by so much hurt and fear that they lash out, they hurt the people around them. Every one of those people you say need to die...something pushed them to that point. I know they can be better. I've seen it. It's...it's terrifying. But I can't give up hope that they can do better. And if I take that decision from them...
[And he already had. It haunted him, every day. It ate away at him, gnawing at his heart in a way that little else did. Even knowing that doing so had saved Livio, and he would do it over again if he had to because he couldn't let Livio die, not after Nicholas had died to save him. But that didn't mean it didn't weigh on him]
I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that. And it hurts. And I-...[He bit down on his lip, hard enough to taste blood, and shook his head sharply. This was not the Wolfwood he had called a coward. This was not the man he wanted to cry and beg forgiveness from. He couldn't give him that, no one could, and he would hate being used as a proxy for his guilt and his grief. So Vash held his tongue.]
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Believe it or not, sometimes I wish that were the case. But I can't be the one to pull the trigger. I've seen...[Been]...children. Driven by so much hurt and fear that they lash out, they hurt the people around them. Every one of those people you say need to die...something pushed them to that point. I know they can be better. I've seen it. It's...it's terrifying. But I can't give up hope that they can do better. And if I take that decision from them...
[And he already had. It haunted him, every day. It ate away at him, gnawing at his heart in a way that little else did. Even knowing that doing so had saved Livio, and he would do it over again if he had to because he couldn't let Livio die, not after Nicholas had died to save him. But that didn't mean it didn't weigh on him]
I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that. And it hurts. And I-...[He bit down on his lip, hard enough to taste blood, and shook his head sharply. This was not the Wolfwood he had called a coward. This was not the man he wanted to cry and beg forgiveness from. He couldn't give him that, no one could, and he would hate being used as a proxy for his guilt and his grief. So Vash held his tongue.]