Reading Wolfwood had never been quite this hard, not before he'd shut himself off so he wouldn't hurt people like he had when things had gone weird. But maybe it was the differences. Either way, the smile on his face dropped at the harshness in his tone, and he swallowed around a lump in his throat. If it had been Nicholas, his Nicholas, that snark would have felt...different. Wouldn't it? He was used to the attitude, to the anger and snappish grumbling. But it didn't feel the same, now.
And for the life of him, he couldn't tell if something in himself had changed, or if it was this Wolfwood, if he was just...too different. From a version of reality where they hadn't meant anything to one another. Where...where maybe...maybe he had been able to see Vash for the monster he was and gotten out before it was too late.
Maybe he would be ok.
The thought was enough to make a small sob catch in his throat at the same time he found himself smiling again, and he almost caught it before it could fully escape, but not quite. He gave a short, jerky nod, trying to disguise the sound with a soft laugh, and then he was turning, reaching back into his bag. He began pulling things out - the last of his money, another packet of toma meat, a tin of tindercloth and camping fuel. He had...he had something to light it with, too, right? It was useless without something-...? He patted his pockets, looked around the sand as if he might have dropped something, patted the chest of his coat where the inner breast pocket lay-...
Oh.
No. He shook his head, his hand trembling when he pressed it against the lighter he kept tucked there, safe next to his heart. Not that. He couldn't leave that.
"Sorry, I know. You're not him. I knew you were...different...when I saw you. I just-...nevermind. I'm sorry." Instead of the lighter, he reached back into his bag as his voice rattled softly, unsteadily, rambling mindlessly as he pulled out the packet of nuts and raisins he'd looted from a little general store and put it on top of the wrapped toma meat.
And then he turned back to him again, looked at him like he'd told him to. Took a moment to take in his features, but then shook his head because it was different, he was different, and he was afraid to look at him too long, to overwrite the image of the man in his head with this man's face, a thought that made a look of actual fear cross his eyes before he forced another smile onto his face and gave a shaky wave.
"Be safe. Take care of yourself, ok?" He shoved away from the car, leaving the pile of supplies for him as a parting gift and forcing himself to take long strides away, put distance between himself and the man who might have enough sense to keep himself safe, live the life he deserved.
"G-...G'bye." It caught in his throat painfully, but he was able to force it out as he passed him by, his entire body shaking like a leaf in a dust storm.
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And for the life of him, he couldn't tell if something in himself had changed, or if it was this Wolfwood, if he was just...too different. From a version of reality where they hadn't meant anything to one another. Where...where maybe...maybe he had been able to see Vash for the monster he was and gotten out before it was too late.
Maybe he would be ok.
The thought was enough to make a small sob catch in his throat at the same time he found himself smiling again, and he almost caught it before it could fully escape, but not quite. He gave a short, jerky nod, trying to disguise the sound with a soft laugh, and then he was turning, reaching back into his bag. He began pulling things out - the last of his money, another packet of toma meat, a tin of tindercloth and camping fuel. He had...he had something to light it with, too, right? It was useless without something-...? He patted his pockets, looked around the sand as if he might have dropped something, patted the chest of his coat where the inner breast pocket lay-...
Oh.
No. He shook his head, his hand trembling when he pressed it against the lighter he kept tucked there, safe next to his heart. Not that. He couldn't leave that.
"Sorry, I know. You're not him. I knew you were...different...when I saw you. I just-...nevermind. I'm sorry." Instead of the lighter, he reached back into his bag as his voice rattled softly, unsteadily, rambling mindlessly as he pulled out the packet of nuts and raisins he'd looted from a little general store and put it on top of the wrapped toma meat.
And then he turned back to him again, looked at him like he'd told him to. Took a moment to take in his features, but then shook his head because it was different, he was different, and he was afraid to look at him too long, to overwrite the image of the man in his head with this man's face, a thought that made a look of actual fear cross his eyes before he forced another smile onto his face and gave a shaky wave.
"Be safe. Take care of yourself, ok?" He shoved away from the car, leaving the pile of supplies for him as a parting gift and forcing himself to take long strides away, put distance between himself and the man who might have enough sense to keep himself safe, live the life he deserved.
"G-...G'bye." It caught in his throat painfully, but he was able to force it out as he passed him by, his entire body shaking like a leaf in a dust storm.