(no subject)

[dontdeserve]

Vash really... thinks he should be okay. Other than Wolfwood leaving the way he did, the rest of his time in this place has brought him so much that he never thought or expected he could have.

Rem.

Nai.

Knives.

Delphinium, and everyone else over there.

Tessla.

So much of that, he's not only never dared to hope for, he hadn't conceived that it was possible. He should be happy. He should be at least content, and focusing on what called them here, on what he could do.

But he's really just utterly exhausted, in ways that go beyond the physical. Just thinking about doing anything makes him cringe at the certainty that he can't help anyone or anything. So mostly he's just sitting near Rem's house, knees drawn up, and staring out over the desert, towards JuLai. He should talk with Rem about maybe going to stay with Delphinium, or at least meat her, explain to her about Tessla too. He should talk with the ghost of Wolfwood. He should likely check if she needs more supplies here. He should spend time with Nai. He should go to Octovern and find out what help is needed. He should find out if Home was okay, too, for that matter.

And he can't make himself do any of these things, the thought of reaching out to anyone just hurting with the certainty of his uselessness.

He doesn't even hum at himself, not judging himself deserving of that comfort.