[It took him more time than he would have liked to admit, to finally begin to come out of the panic, though the loss of the connection with that twinned mind and the pain he had caused certainly helped. The sound of the voice, his own voice, quiet and gentle from nearby, helped even still, though it was still a few moments before his screaming quieted to whines, and then lower still until he was simply drawing in loud, ragged gasps.
His shoulders shook as, slowly, his body curled in on itself, the panic quelling and leaving behind shame. But at least the tension in his body seemed to be releasing, and the curl of his arms over his head became less an attempt at protecting the world from himself and simply...hiding, from himself, from the world around them, not yet even feeling the courage to look out from the shelter of his own limbs.]
I-...I'm-...[Words were still hard, but at least he was able to start, and at first they came one at a time, punched out of his lungs with each slowly-settling gasp.] 'M sorry...I'm sorry! [He forced himself to pull his hands away, shaking them out as if trying to release what was left of the tension in them, flexing them into and out of fists.
When he managed to open his eyes, even from where his head was turned down toward the ground, he could see the blurry image of an outstretched hand through his tears. His hand jerked, as if moving to take it before second guessing himself and pulling sharply away. He was a mess, he knew he was a mess. Broken, feeling as if his emotions were bleeding him out onto the sand. He had to get them under control.]
I didn't...didn't want t'hurt you. Never...never would have meant to...to show you that. [There was a laugh, a short, barked sound that was almost hysterical. But he made himself reach out again, his own hand shaking, palm down, loose, as non-threatening a stretch as he could make it, like trying to coax a frightened animal not to run away. It was with the back of his fingertips that he made the first delicate contact, and he almost jerked his hand away again as if he were afraid of being burned. But it seemed to break through some of the fear as he gave a small, relieved sort of sob, letting still-curled fingers reach further until he could finally press palm-to-palm, trembling as he gripped oh-so-gently, still afraid of chasing the other man away.
He was staying. He...was staying? He was real and Vash hadn't just driven him into a panic that sent him to his own death in an attempt to stop the things he had seen in his head. He could barely even look up, his eyes darting up to see the uncomfortable look on his face before darting back away to simply stare at the buttons on the collar of his coat, his left hand still folded against his temple as if he were ready to hide again at any second.]
I'm...not even safe around myself! [He let out another humorless laugh. He didn't know what he would do, or what it would even mean, if he sent the man out to his own death, if in his carelessness he caused him to change course in an attempt to change the visions. Things had been balanced on such a razor's edge; one change, one single action different...so many lives were at stake.] Don't leave. Please don't leave.
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His shoulders shook as, slowly, his body curled in on itself, the panic quelling and leaving behind shame. But at least the tension in his body seemed to be releasing, and the curl of his arms over his head became less an attempt at protecting the world from himself and simply...hiding, from himself, from the world around them, not yet even feeling the courage to look out from the shelter of his own limbs.]
I-...I'm-...[Words were still hard, but at least he was able to start, and at first they came one at a time, punched out of his lungs with each slowly-settling gasp.] 'M sorry...I'm sorry! [He forced himself to pull his hands away, shaking them out as if trying to release what was left of the tension in them, flexing them into and out of fists.
When he managed to open his eyes, even from where his head was turned down toward the ground, he could see the blurry image of an outstretched hand through his tears. His hand jerked, as if moving to take it before second guessing himself and pulling sharply away. He was a mess, he knew he was a mess. Broken, feeling as if his emotions were bleeding him out onto the sand. He had to get them under control.]
I didn't...didn't want t'hurt you. Never...never would have meant to...to show you that. [There was a laugh, a short, barked sound that was almost hysterical. But he made himself reach out again, his own hand shaking, palm down, loose, as non-threatening a stretch as he could make it, like trying to coax a frightened animal not to run away. It was with the back of his fingertips that he made the first delicate contact, and he almost jerked his hand away again as if he were afraid of being burned. But it seemed to break through some of the fear as he gave a small, relieved sort of sob, letting still-curled fingers reach further until he could finally press palm-to-palm, trembling as he gripped oh-so-gently, still afraid of chasing the other man away.
He was staying. He...was staying? He was real and Vash hadn't just driven him into a panic that sent him to his own death in an attempt to stop the things he had seen in his head. He could barely even look up, his eyes darting up to see the uncomfortable look on his face before darting back away to simply stare at the buttons on the collar of his coat, his left hand still folded against his temple as if he were ready to hide again at any second.]
I'm...not even safe around myself! [He let out another humorless laugh. He didn't know what he would do, or what it would even mean, if he sent the man out to his own death, if in his carelessness he caused him to change course in an attempt to change the visions. Things had been balanced on such a razor's edge; one change, one single action different...so many lives were at stake.] Don't leave. Please don't leave.