celestialcrybaby: (Max Eugh)
Vash ([personal profile] celestialcrybaby) wrote in [community profile] nomans_land 2023-06-15 03:32 am (UTC)

The question makes simultaneously no sense and perfect sense. It's a point that's been made before, and he knows why it seems like it should be the answer, but he can't accept it, not when the weight of his own past is so heavy, when he, as one person, has done so much to hurt so many.

Because I could have stopped it. Because I'm not human, I can do so much more than they can, I can help, I can take the abuses! They can be so much better, I know they can! Things are just dangerous for them here, they don't have enough resources to go around and it makes things harder for them, and people don't think right when they're scared or in need. It's not their fault! They just need someone to help guide them, and if I was just better at it, maybe it wouldn't be so hard!

Bit of a messiah complex there, wasn't it? And on some level, a tiny part of him knew that he was taking on more than he could handle. But it was all he knew how to do, when things were so out of control and people were hurting so much. He had to do something, and he was able to do so much more than any human was, even having used up the last of his power.

If he could just help one person, then it helped him feel like he hadn't completely failed them, hadn't failed Rem and Wolfwood's death hadn't been for nothing. And if that person helped another person, and another, if all of those peoples' lives were easier because he'd saved one, then it was worth it, no matter how much it hurt him in the process.

Even if sometimes, he really, really just wished that he could finally just...stop. For good. He just wished that he could finally rest.

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting