The reality of what he was saying sank into his chest like ice. He knew. He understood. But it didn't change the fact that the hurt was too much for Wolfwood to make go away, and he should have known that. It was too big, too much for either of them to handle on their own. Vash had been carrying the pain for so long, there was nothing he of all people could do that could really remove that burden. He couldn't even handle his own grief, most days, what made him think he could make it stop for Vash?
He didn't answer for a long time, but he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, burying his face in the crook of his neck. No permission asked this time, but it was a slow thing, he could pull away if it wasn't wanted. It let him hide the way he sniffed and cried softly from the rest of the world, though, and given enough time, he swayed gently, self-soothingly, as he clung.
"I just want you t'be happy. All you do is show kindness t'everyone around you, even worthless sons of bitches like me, an' it's not right that you have to hurt so much. It's not right."
And if you'd asked him five years ago? Nicholas D. Wolfwood would have told you that kindness like that didn't exist, that it was a facade someone showed to get on your good side, to make you trust them so they could stab you in the back, and that everyone was some kind of an asshole that was just waiting to get one over on the next man. At least the Nicholas of five years ago wouldn't have had to hurt so much at the thought of one man carrying so much pain.
But at the same time, the only way he'd have been able to stay the same man would have been to never have met Vash. In the grand scheme of things, he'd call it a fair tradeoff, no matter how much it made him hurt.
LOL oh no, that's so many places to keep track of! XD
He didn't answer for a long time, but he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, burying his face in the crook of his neck. No permission asked this time, but it was a slow thing, he could pull away if it wasn't wanted. It let him hide the way he sniffed and cried softly from the rest of the world, though, and given enough time, he swayed gently, self-soothingly, as he clung.
"I just want you t'be happy. All you do is show kindness t'everyone around you, even worthless sons of bitches like me, an' it's not right that you have to hurt so much. It's not right."
And if you'd asked him five years ago? Nicholas D. Wolfwood would have told you that kindness like that didn't exist, that it was a facade someone showed to get on your good side, to make you trust them so they could stab you in the back, and that everyone was some kind of an asshole that was just waiting to get one over on the next man. At least the Nicholas of five years ago wouldn't have had to hurt so much at the thought of one man carrying so much pain.
But at the same time, the only way he'd have been able to stay the same man would have been to never have met Vash. In the grand scheme of things, he'd call it a fair tradeoff, no matter how much it made him hurt.