[Not too long, he said, as if it wasn't a big deal. Despite the small wave of panic that was trying to take hold, his mouth twisted down and he looked over at Vash as he did his best to make his painfully-cheerful-pretending way to the table.]
Y'should be restin'!
[The moment he reached over and took his hand, though, he felt his brain slam to a halt. He jumped at first, stared at the way he linked their fingers together and just held, and then it felt as if the world narrowed down to that one point of contact. He barely registered their voices as they continued to speak around him, didn't even notice the way he slowly curled back down until he looked like he was going to put his head back on the table, and he just stared as the shock of those earlier memories he'd stolen out of Vash's head came rolling back.
Why. Why me? Why??? How can he love me? I'm no good, no fuckin' good! The voice in his head screamed, felt like it was flaying him from the inside out, and the only thing that kept his tears from landing on the table under his face was the pair of sunglasses on his face, and even then, it wasn't long before a few spilled over anyway, and still he didn't seem to notice. But he didn't pull away from the hold, and after a moment, he squeezed his hand back, his thumb beginning to rub barely-there circles against the back of his Vash's hand.
If you wanted an answer to your question, Vash, he was giving a pretty good one without saying a word. Sometimes it helped, a bit. But other times, when it was really bad, this happened. And still, they continued to do it to themselves, time and again.]
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Y'should be restin'!
[The moment he reached over and took his hand, though, he felt his brain slam to a halt. He jumped at first, stared at the way he linked their fingers together and just held, and then it felt as if the world narrowed down to that one point of contact. He barely registered their voices as they continued to speak around him, didn't even notice the way he slowly curled back down until he looked like he was going to put his head back on the table, and he just stared as the shock of those earlier memories he'd stolen out of Vash's head came rolling back.
Why. Why me? Why??? How can he love me? I'm no good, no fuckin' good! The voice in his head screamed, felt like it was flaying him from the inside out, and the only thing that kept his tears from landing on the table under his face was the pair of sunglasses on his face, and even then, it wasn't long before a few spilled over anyway, and still he didn't seem to notice. But he didn't pull away from the hold, and after a moment, he squeezed his hand back, his thumb beginning to rub barely-there circles against the back of his Vash's hand.
If you wanted an answer to your question, Vash, he was giving a pretty good one without saying a word. Sometimes it helped, a bit. But other times, when it was really bad, this happened. And still, they continued to do it to themselves, time and again.]