[Oh God, of course, of course he was hesitating! If the horror of what was right in front of him weren't in control, Nicholas would have felt a sudden nostalgia for the amount of absolute frustration Vash had always made him feel, constantly refusing to harm anyone, even at the expense of his own well-being!
But the sight of those limbs, the face, body parts broken, shredded, the thing screaming in his head, was enough to distract him from all of that, was almost more than he could stand. But he refused to stop, not when it was hurting this badly, not when he couldn't stand the thought of the suffering continuing, not if it were Vash. Even as the feathers flailed wildly, phasing through his body in a way that made him feel like his molecules were being shredded for brief seconds of pain, he pressed on, his voice sobbing, desperate to be heeded.]
No, listen, I promise, please listen! I can take you somewhere the pain will stop! It's why I'm here! You mom asked me to stay! She moved on with your brother, but she asked me to wait for you! They're waiting for you, please let me take you home, Vash!
[But the mass of viscera and agony wouldn't stop, was lunging for the other man, and he panicked, running after it. He could stop it, he had to! He could-...he could possess it! He'd done it once before, so many years ago! He'd never done it to a Plant, but it might work!
Or...or the feathers! Memories, he could share the memories! Could he? Would it work? Maybe if he focused everything he had on reaching out, forcing enough energy into making just a little part of himself corporeal, he could make contact with those feathers and show him, the way the Plants had done in Octovern as Nicholas had been forced to stand by and watch the war waging around them with no way to help, the way Vash had accidentally done when he'd been panicked and hurting as Hoppered tried to take revenge on him for July.
Worried that if he didn't act, the still-healthy and whole Vash would die, and willing to risk what might happen if so much raw energy overpowered him when he tried, he moved, focused his hand, reached out, and dug suddenly-solid fingers into one of the only places he could find that was feathered but appeared to be at least somewhat whole.]
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But the sight of those limbs, the face, body parts broken, shredded, the thing screaming in his head, was enough to distract him from all of that, was almost more than he could stand. But he refused to stop, not when it was hurting this badly, not when he couldn't stand the thought of the suffering continuing, not if it were Vash. Even as the feathers flailed wildly, phasing through his body in a way that made him feel like his molecules were being shredded for brief seconds of pain, he pressed on, his voice sobbing, desperate to be heeded.]
No, listen, I promise, please listen! I can take you somewhere the pain will stop! It's why I'm here! You mom asked me to stay! She moved on with your brother, but she asked me to wait for you! They're waiting for you, please let me take you home, Vash!
[But the mass of viscera and agony wouldn't stop, was lunging for the other man, and he panicked, running after it. He could stop it, he had to! He could-...he could possess it! He'd done it once before, so many years ago! He'd never done it to a Plant, but it might work!
Or...or the feathers! Memories, he could share the memories! Could he? Would it work? Maybe if he focused everything he had on reaching out, forcing enough energy into making just a little part of himself corporeal, he could make contact with those feathers and show him, the way the Plants had done in Octovern as Nicholas had been forced to stand by and watch the war waging around them with no way to help, the way Vash had accidentally done when he'd been panicked and hurting as Hoppered tried to take revenge on him for July.
Worried that if he didn't act, the still-healthy and whole Vash would die, and willing to risk what might happen if so much raw energy overpowered him when he tried, he moved, focused his hand, reached out, and dug suddenly-solid fingers into one of the only places he could find that was feathered but appeared to be at least somewhat whole.]