Oh...Oh. Well. It didn't take a Plant Engineer to know who he was talking about. Nick sighed, shifting to sit across from the other man as he tried in vain to find a lighter. When the broken cigarette flew through his head and into the desert behind him, he barely even blinked. Honestly, he felt...a little guilty about that, now.
A bit.
Which made him manifest the figment of a lit cigarette in his fingers, waving it in front of the other's face. He knew from experience that something about indulging the motions of the old habit made the scent of them come to people. He wasn't quite sure why, but it did. Maybe it would help a bit? It wouldn't have the nicotine, but hopefully the scent-memory of burning tobacco could take the edge off.
"You know, he's not really as stupid as you think. He's just a stubborn old asshole. You should give 'im more credit, really. Honestly, he probably knew exactly what we were up to from the word 'go,' he's just too forgiving to ever call us on it. Not that that's gonna help you feel any better about it, is it?"
Because no, really, he knew what living these doubts had been like, remembered vividly how much he'd beaten himself up inside over all of this. Even if he didn't remember this moment in time, he remembered the lingering anger, the self-loathing. Truth be told, there were times it still lingered, though a few decades with no one to talk to but yourself, endless free time to look back on your life, and not having to actually deal with the continued struggles of actually being alive had given him a chance to...maybe not forgive himself, but at least feel as if that hate had been blunted, the sharp edges rounded until it was so much easier to deal with than it once had been.
"Give 'im some time. You'll get used to his stupid bullshit. It's...kind of comforting, now, if I'm being honest."
no subject
A bit.
Which made him manifest the figment of a lit cigarette in his fingers, waving it in front of the other's face. He knew from experience that something about indulging the motions of the old habit made the scent of them come to people. He wasn't quite sure why, but it did. Maybe it would help a bit? It wouldn't have the nicotine, but hopefully the scent-memory of burning tobacco could take the edge off.
"You know, he's not really as stupid as you think. He's just a stubborn old asshole. You should give 'im more credit, really. Honestly, he probably knew exactly what we were up to from the word 'go,' he's just too forgiving to ever call us on it. Not that that's gonna help you feel any better about it, is it?"
Because no, really, he knew what living these doubts had been like, remembered vividly how much he'd beaten himself up inside over all of this. Even if he didn't remember this moment in time, he remembered the lingering anger, the self-loathing. Truth be told, there were times it still lingered, though a few decades with no one to talk to but yourself, endless free time to look back on your life, and not having to actually deal with the continued struggles of actually being alive had given him a chance to...maybe not forgive himself, but at least feel as if that hate had been blunted, the sharp edges rounded until it was so much easier to deal with than it once had been.
"Give 'im some time. You'll get used to his stupid bullshit. It's...kind of comforting, now, if I'm being honest."